I sit and listen to these pathetic and bewildered men so motivated by their need for sex that their reasoning capacities have turned to mush. Ordinarily I would tend to admire these intelligent, successful, and otherwise responsible individuals. But their misdirected sex drive has them completely unraveled. While this sequence of events is an insane way to live, my counseling experience leads me to believe that more than half of all married couples go through the agony of unfaithfulness and affairs. I believe that most couples can easily prevent this tragedy. Prevention begins with an understanding of the differences between the sexuality of men and women. What’s the Difference? There are three important differences between men and women when it comes to sex. The first involves their sexual drive; the second, awareness of their sexuality; and the third, their primary reason to have sex. Sexual Drive Regarding the first difference, sexual drive, we all know that the average man has a much higher sex drive than the average woman. This is because the only known aphrodisiac, testosterone, flows in abundance through men while in much shorter supply in women. A woman can witness firsthand what an intense sex drive feels like by wearing a testosterone patch for a week to raise her level of the hormone to that of the average nineteen-year-old male. It’s an eye-opening experience for women, who usually don’t want to repeat it. While a man’s sex drive is not the only reason he has a need for sexual fulfillment, it’s the most important reason that it’s usually his number one emotional need. But over a lifetime, the level of testosterone in a man’s bloodstream decreases about 1 percent a year, which makes him less sexually motivated and less able to perform as he ages. For this reason older men don’t necessarily rank sexual fulfillment as important as they did earlier in life. Sexual Awareness The second difference, awareness of their sexuality, contributes mightily to the sexual problems faced early in marriage. I use the term sexual awareness to A very practical "how-to" book & audio from relationship coaches Susie & Otto Collins that you will love because it gives you 101 words, phrases & sentence starters to help you say it right every time.

His Needs Her Needs Assessment - Northern Hills Church of Christ His Needs Her Needs Assessment - Northern Hills Church of Christ

Current honesty: Reveal information about the events of your day. Provide your spouse with a calendar of your activities, with special emphasis on those that may affect him or her.

Summary of His Needs, Her Needs

EVEN if the statement is literally true and can be applied both ways, the wording is CLEARLY rooted in sexist and regressive ideas. The way to determine your emotional needs is to first read the descriptions above and make a list that you think are your 10 emotional needs, prioritized from 1 to 10. Now, imagine you could only have 1 of these needs. Take a look at number 1 and number 2. Make a mark next to the one that would help you feel more loved. Then look at number 2 and number 3. Make a mark next to the one that would help you feel most loved. Continue down the list for all 10. Make sure the last comparison is between number 10 and number 1, so that all 10 get an equal comparison. What You Absolutely Must Know About Your Relationship - Test Your Compatibility And Grow Deeper In Love. For those dating, married or even in a long distance relationship. As I said earlier, women can also have very high sex needs. Sometimes, it is the woman who is the sexual aggressor in a marriage. That is OK.

His Needs Her needs Pages 1-50 - Flip PDF Download | FlipHTML5 His Needs Her needs Pages 1-50 - Flip PDF Download | FlipHTML5

Today, women are far more independent than they ever have been. The actual NEED for a man is LESS than it ever has been. Many women earn more than their male spouse. Even if that is the case, what are the expectations? Women TEND TO LIKE A MAN WHO CAN PROVIDE OR ATLEAST PARTICIPATE FINANCIALLY.” I stand by my post indicating that sex is a crucial part of marriage for the vast majority of people. The intimacy sex can provide is a strong bonding action that can help a marriage. For those like yourself who has some trauma related to sex, need special care to help manage or resolve that hurt. Your hurt doesn’t change the reality for everyone else. Your pain is real and needs attention. I encourage you to seek proper care so you can have a healing. Harley breaks down the basic needs of husbands and wives into five each, focusing more on the male aspects. He is a psychologist and I felt he was coming at everything from an old-school Freudian approach-- everything on the male side comes down to sexual fulfillment. He makes the false claim that 50% of spouses are sexually unfaithful. The reader is treated to the sordid details of stories of extramarital affairs, perhaps made up whole cloth by Harley.

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It also helps if you compromise on important things for your partner. This doesn’t mean agreeing to do things you don’t believe in; rather, it means being willing to consider their perspective and finding a middle ground that will work for both of you. If you can do this, chances are your relationship will thrive. Difference Between His Needs And Her Needs There is no grace in this book, no acceptance of your spouse as a spiritual creature with a history and a brain, no dealing with expectations or letting go of them and preconceived notions of marital bliss, and no growing together to be like Christ. Your wife is a biological partner you can have fun with, nothing more. While he strongly cautions against divorce, he is pretty flippant in saying sometimes these things just don't work

PARTICIPANT’S GUIDE His Needs, Her Needs - Integral Psychology

In a relationship, both parties have needs. His needs are the things that are important to him, and hers are the things that are important to her. His needs may include things like affection, support, and understanding. She may need reassurance, care, and love. Together, they can work out a compromise that meets their individual needs. throughout your life together. There’s more to being in love than making each other happy, however. You must also know how to avoid making each other unhappy. That’s why I’ve written a counterpart to this book, Love Busters: Protecting Your Marriage from Habits That Destroy Romantic Love. If you know how to make each other happy, but fail to avoid making each other unhappy, your skill and effort will be wasted. Spouses can learn to become each other’s source of greatest pleasure when they meet each other’s most important emotional needs. But they can also become each other’s source of unbearable pain when they don’t protect each other from instincts and habits that are common to all of us. I’ve also written a workbook that will help guide you through the chapters of His Needs, Her Needs and Love Busters. It will help you identify the skills you should learn, and then encourage you to practice them until they become habits. This companion book is Five Steps to Romantic Love: A Workbook for a Healthy Marriage for Readers of Love Busters and His Needs, Her Needs. I encourage you and your spouse to read these books together, complete the questionnaires, and answer the questions at the end of each chapter. You might even use two different-colored highlighters as you read, so each of you can let the other know what is most important to you. Keep these books in a place where you can refer to them regularly, because you should be reminded of the lessons they will teach you. If you have sexual fantasies, that is a good indicator that sex is high on your list of emotional needs. FRIENDS of Intimate Conversation: 1. Conversing to inform ( personal feelings, interests and activities: supportive not critical), investigate (same), and understand (same) in positive and encouraging ways. 2. Developing interest in each other’s favorite topics of conversation. 3. Balancing the conversation (good listener and good talker, say when someone interrupts the other) 4. Giving each other undivided attention (look in the eyes) Love and Respect for a Lifetime: Women Absolutely Need Love. Men Absolutely Need Respect. Its as Simple and as Complicated as That...Sexual fulfillment. His wife meets this need by becoming a terrific sexual partner. She studies her own sexual response to recognize and understand what brings out the best in her; then she shares this information with him, and together they learn to have a sexual relationship that both find repeatedly satisfying and enjoyable. Over this book I would recommend Arterburn's Seven Minute Marriage Solution, Emerson Eggerichs' Love and Respect, and many more. I think my wife was most offended by the section where Harley tells women readers to do their hair nicely, consume fewer calories, exercise more, and consult magazine articles for tips on beauty, or else their husband will cheat on them. Most books on marriage deal with the importance of the man fulfilling his wife's needs during daylight hours ("women are ovens, men are microwaves") by being a supportive husband, this did not put as much impetus on the man. It's up to the woman to respond to her husband's wants, no matter what. Ans: There are many unhealthy patterns that frequently occur in relationships. One of the most common is one person taking control excessively and the other feeling too afraid to speak up. Others include endlessly trying to please their partner instead of listening to them, miscommunication, and constant fighting. Regarding healthy patterns, both people should have needs that are met regularly.