How being single is often seen as a ‘waiting existence’. That is, waiting to find ‘the one’ and why it’s now a misguided idea. Single in your late twenties or, hold the phone, in your thirties or beyond? Oh hi! You're in the right place. Sophie Tanner embraces ‘sologamy’, the act of marrying oneself. Photograph: Image provided by Sophie Tanner In 2018, the author Catherine Gray published a book about how her search for happiness had led her to take a year off dating. And what did she call it? The Unexpected Joy of Being Single. So true: "The feeling of failure over being single is created by a thousand paper cuts of the sympathetic 'Oh wells', or the 'You'll meet someone' reassurers, or the 'Have you tried?' fixers." I know those 'Have you tried?' fixers are trying to be helpful, but seriously, do you think I haven't tried internet dating yet? Or anything you're suggesting? I have yet to have anyone ever give me useful advice. So you know what, unless we ask for it, please keep your advice to yourself, smug marrieds!

There are far better-written books on the joys of solitude, how its distinct from loneliness, why increasingly people are embracing solitude and what do we gain from doing so. For starters, I would recommend these:I don’t know yet, but that is the hallmark of addiction, that flashing neon sign in your brain that blinks and fizzes and demands MORE. That moves further away, every time you inch towards it. That you’re always trying to reach, and never successfully get to. It’s an ever-moving destination.”

The thing stopping you? Keeping you single? Standards. Free will. It's really important to remember that single is a choice; you're not a put-upon victim who can't get a date." Next time someone asks me why I am single, I will be answering with, "Standards! Free will!" The book encourages you to re-evaluate your assumptions about singledom and find the contented single in yourself. Most of us are living average, normal lives. We have these flashes of extraordinary moments but they don't last very long... most of [life] is workaday and a bit humdrum and pedestrian. So why not embrace the joy of the ordinary? We've got nothing to lose.” Being thankful for the little things can be life-changing When I saw this book on the shelf at Foyle's, I immediately groaned. There are few things I hate more than people trying to convince me just how amazing being single is when I'd rather not be in this state. Nevertheless, I decided to buy it as knowledge is power and if someone can convince me that single is amazing, I would be very thankful. Therefore, I shall call this review "The Unexpected Joy of Enjoying This Book." Not only did I enjoy this book, I LOVED it. For someone who doesn't like being told how great single is, that's quite impressive. However, I do think that a more appropriate title for the book would be "The Unexpected Joy of Not Settling." So in the end, it was a lot of what I'd already say I know: in my ripe old age (39), I already know that it is a GAZILLION BAJILLION times to be single than to be with the wrong person and that is indeed why I am single. I see a lot of people in relationships that I don't envy for a second and I know that I am better off.A brilliant, honest, well-written guide to the positive aspects of being single drawing on the author's own life experiences and observations. The author pinpoints the many advantages of being single whilst offering her guidance on navigating the pitfalls. I found her suggested approach to dating particularly relevant and helpful. She says she is not bothered by the thought that she may never have children. “You don’t have to have children to complete you, in the same way that you don’t need a partner.” Having a secret single freak-out? Feeling the red, heart-shaped urgency intensify as the years roll on by? Oh hi! You're in the right place. The Unexpected Joy Of Being Single. What a great title for a book, wouldn’t you agree? We were instantly curious! Given the documented rise in solo living and the growing number of singletons, this book is timely and expresses what many singles already know. Seasoned solos may be more ‘joyful’ than newbies because let’s face it – not everyone is completely comfortable with their single status. But, do we underestimate the joys of living alone and being single? Have we been slow to appreciate the benefits and are they only realised when a single life proves to be a long term experience? Being a well-researched book, Catherine includes various findings from scientific research to underpin the ideas found in The Unexpected Joy Of Being Single. She explores the three main attachment styles (i.e. the way we connect with others): anxious, secure or avoidant when it comes to forming attachments and how we relate to the important people in our life. Also discussed is HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) because if we experience any one through the day, it may be the cause of common negative feelings.

How to Identify Smartphone Dependency, Stop Compulsive Behavior and Develop a Healthy Relationship with Your Devices Catherine Gray quotes from Jennifer Taitz's: "How to Be Single and Happy: Science-Based Strategies for Keeping Your Sanity While Looking for a Soul Mate ( https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3...) :- "At any moment, we can choose a new action, and create new patterns of behaviour that link to our hopes. Our past doesn't need to dictate our future". It’s not a self help book, but a collection of statistics and evaluations and personal experiences which are so relatable.Catherine Gray went through all of this. And then some. She took a whole year off dating to get her love-hooked head straight. How do we chill our boots about our single status? Detach from 'all the good ones are gone!' panic? And de-programme from urgent, red, heart-shaped societal pressure to find your 'other half * '? We know intellectually that single is far preferable to panic-settling, yet we forget that almost constantly. Why? Psychologists and neuroscientists tell us? Let's start the reverse-brainwash and locate our happily-single sanity, for good. Are you in? So what’s going on in your love life?’. An innocent question at a dinner party prompted Aimee Lutkin to finally tell the truth; it was six years since her last relationship, and she suspected it would be better to accept the life she had – a life she liked very much – rather than keep searching. But Lutkin’s answer was met with uproar; surely she couldn’t give up on love? So she threw herself into dating, going on two dates every week.” Sound familiar?