Your friend likely regrets that this situation took place just as much as you do. He probably knows that you remember some of what happened that night, and he’s probably worried about your friendship just as much as you are. Try to act normal around him, and remember how important your friendship is. The more you act normal around him (even if it feels weird on the inside), the more it will genuinely start to feel normal again. This will take time, but I promise that it’s worth it for the sake of your friendship. I had hooked up with other guys before but most of them were nothing like Mike. That’s because the other dudes were bi or full on gay. When this happened to me, I pretended not to remember anything because I knew the situation would be uncomfortable for my straight friend. In other words, I was trying to give him an escape route by pretending that I didn’t remember anything about that night (plausible deniability, if you will). If he thought that I didn’t remember anything about that night, then he could say the same thing and never have to mention it again. After the first time it, we found ourselves regularly draining each other out when nobody was around. Sometimes it even happened just before he was about to hang with his girlfriend.

He was so big I could only get an inch past the head into my mouth but I did my best to please him. Bobbing up and down whilst on my knees.

I understand you feel terrible about keeping this secret from your girlfriend. Honesty is the cornerstone of any relationship. But some stones are better left unturned. Ultimately you’ll have to decide this on your own. We ended up talking on the phone again about a week later when I asked if some friends could come over and watch football. During this conversation Jeff brought up the sexual encounter again and stressed how important it was that his girlfriend not find out about it. I told him that I had no intention of telling his girlfriend. I got a text message from Doug saying “Jeff knows, so you better prepare yourself.” I was out-of-town when I got the text message, and didn’t fully understand what it meant. (This was 6 months after the incident occurred, so it was not fresh in my mind.) This was very much a bitch move on Doug’s part both for telling Jeff and for sending me a text message instead of calling or talking to me in person. What marked the beginning of the end of our friendship? Was it the sexual encounter? Was it the confrontation (no more plausible deniability on his part)? Was it the fact that I told Doug? Was Doug really the "glue" of our friendship, and when he left Jeff and I had nothing much in common?

Here’s the part where I plead for your advice. What do you think? Have you experienced anything like this before? What’s the correct protocol for handling a situation like this? Ideally, he's going to get over his awkwardness, which in turn will help you get over yours, and things will eventually - in time - return to normal. Both of you will pretend that it never happened, and that will be that. Last weekend my straight friend and I decided to invite some people over and have a cookout at his house. Everything went great at first, and we all were having a good time. Eventually everyone left except for me, him, and his girlfriend. His girlfriend went upstairs to bed, and he and I stayed downstairs and continued drinking. We are both partial to whiskey, and man was it going down easy that night. Before long we found ourselves pretty hammered. Not too long ago, a scientific study was released that showed men who identified as straight bonded better with other guys when compared to women. I cleaned myself up and got into bed, relaxed but also annoyed that I couldn't control my urges yet again.I wouldn't beat yourself up about it. Why? Well, you were insanely drunk and so was he. Hopefully, you wouldn't have done anything with him were you sober, but since your inhibitions were lowered... Plus, he has an equal amount of responsibility in what happened. He might have been drunk as well, but it isn't like you told him to pull down his pants, and it wasn't like he was saying no - after all, he wanted to go even further than you let him. The next day I went for my meeting which was boring, it was mainly just the company telling me how we could be doing better for them. I find it hard to believe his story. He might not remember everything, hell, he might only remember bits and pieces, but his concern is likely whether or not you remember anything. My advice to you is to lie like a dog and tell him you remember nothing. Otherwise, you're putting your friendship in danger.

I didn't even attempt to move my head, instead I just let this young man use my mouth like the slut I had become for him. I don’t remember if any words were exchanged, but it was definitely on from that point. We only fooled around – mainly oral with him being the receiver. He tried to go for more, but he was too drunk to find any lube. Finally we passed out on a blanket on the floor. There are only 3 reasons I can think of for you to talk about this with him. Otherwise, just keep quiet. Ideally, you'll both blame it on the booze, and once it's talked about and in the open you'll both be able to find a way to move past it. Hopefully he will also be silent about it when it comes to his girlfriend, since she's a wildcard in all of this.

4. Confinement

Don't even let yourself entertain the notion of a relationship. For that to even be possible he has to do two things. First, he has to come out to you as either gay or bisexual. Second, he has to leave his girlfriend. For there to be any hope - any hope whatsoever - he has to do both of those things first. The likelihood of him doing even one of those things is next to zero, and if one does happen it is likely that his girlfriend dumps him because he slept with you. Do you think she will understand that this was just a physical act that occurred in your intoxicated state and in no way reflects on your sexual preference? I’ve told you that I don’t think this makes you gay or even bi, but it’s not like you can just print off this post and show it to your girlfriend as proof. I think that most straight people have a problem understanding situations like this because they identify so strongly with being straight. So until they find themselves in a similar situation, they don’t see how it can be possible for a straight person to have a sexual experience with a person of the same sex and not be gay or at least bisexual. This is why you’re having such a hard time dealing with the whole experience, and it’s very likely that your girlfriend would have a problem with it for the same reasons. I hope that you are able to come to terms with this situation, realize why it happened, and realize that it doesn’t change anything about you or your orientation. I think it would be much harder for your girlfriend to come to terms with the situation because she’s not the one it happened to. Your friend probably remembers at least some part of what happened that night. He may be having some of the same thoughts and feelings that you are currently having. He may be pretending not to remember anything because he thinks that would be the easiest way for you to handle the situation.