A deeply empathetic exploration of grief, loneliness, guilt, toxic relationships and forgiving oneself.

With each of her books, I read with an overwhelming feeling of dread and discomfort and this is exactly how I like to feel when reading psychological thrillers. As we learn the true story of that night, and see the damage caused by the death of Janet’s daughter years earlier, it became harder to see this story in black and white terms. As in her previous book the author creates a superb back-up of equally believable secondary characters to support the plot. Her and her husband Colin have been affected by something in the past regarding their daughter Claire. The way she is written made me connect with her instantly, down to the way she thinks and the way she sees the world through such an intensely anxious lens.Janet is dealing with an unimaginable loss whilst also being involved in a relationship that is full of coercive control, she’s a likeable character and I felt so sorry for her as I continued to read. The main characters were well developed and believable; I particularly empathised with the main character, Janet. Thrust into the public eye and seen as a heroine, Janet slowly starts to regain memories of that night and it’s not quite what everyone is led to believe.

I really like Janet’s character and as previously done, Charlotte rights with the right level of humour and emotion within the same paragraph. As news spreads of Janet's actions, her story inspires everyone around her, and for the first time her life has purpose and the future is filled with hope. The characters are so well written, they’re definitely ones that will stay with me and despite this only being Charlottes second book, she has definitely edged her way onto my list of favourite authors. I love Charlotte Levins writing as she draws you in to the story and she's definitely made a fan out of me.Janet is a decent human being with so much to offer to anyone blessed with more humanity and self-awareness than her self-obsessed husband is able or willing to show her and her gradual discovery of the right path forward is slow but so believable. Only things go wrong, and Colin turns up outside the venue to collect her and her friend to take them home. A really well written, believable story and you really could feel the weight of Janets grief and her guilt as she is pulled further into her rather unwitting deception. Janet was both the hero and villain in her own story - she was flawed, troubled and damaged, she made terrible choices but underneath it al was a kind hearted woman who just wanted to feel love and safety in a world that had none of those things. It's evident fairly early in the story that there is a traumatic backstory to Janet but I really enjoyed the pacing of this and the way the full story was allowed to gently unfold.

I appreciated the ending it wasn't rushed, and I liked that it wasn't all tied up neatly in a nice little bow. However, both stories are nuanced and multi-layered, allowing the reader to join the dots on the wonderfully character-led novels. A Richard and Judy Book Club pick, If I Let You Go is a darkly comic tale of searing loss, coercive control and the consequences of taking the wrong path. Overall, If I Let You Go is an intriguing, intense, immersive tale by Levin that does a wonderful job of highlighting just how devastating and all-consuming guilt and grief can be and reminds us to savour every moment because life can often change in a heartbeat. If you’re looking for a slow thriller with exceptional characters and plot (and divine writing) then definitely pick this one up, you won’t be disappointed.If I Let You Go is an unsettling, character-driven novel that introduces us to Janet, a young woman who, after a tragic accident eleven years ago, has spent her life in the shadows, performing her cleaning job to the best of her abilities, keeping house and placating her domineering husband, and visiting her elderly father as often as possible, until one night she decides she’s had enough and by morning her life will be irrevocably changed forever when she wakes to discover she’s a heroine of a train crash she can’t actually remember. I love Janet, she is brave, gutsy and caring she does not get everything right but she has the courage to put the one foot in front of the other. If I let you go follows Janet, a cleaner who has followed the same routine for years going to work and cleaning offices. The 103 third parties who use cookies on this service do so for their purposes of displaying and measuring personalized ads, generating audience insights, and developing and improving products. The character writing is exquisite, Janet's grief, self doubt and anxious overthinking are enchantingly real and believable.