Frankly, Shani is one of the worst —if not The Worst— protagonists I’ve ever had the misfortune of reading about. Not only is this girl utterly foul to her mother, she’s incredibly selfish, small-minded and pathetic. As this is YA, I do want to bring attention to the trigger warning. It’s there for sexual assault so beware of that before reading this. Add that to the fact that I did not care for May's character at all. She seems rude and insulting to Shani and apparently to everyone else. Her relationship with her dad is sort of magically fast-forward resolved and the conflicts seem a bit artificial because literally all that is needed is communication of any kind. The primary character arc as I saw it was about Shani learning to be her own person, independent of a best friend or girlfriend, but this is glossed over in the resolution as well so I'm not sure what the takeaway was. This is a book that heavily features bodies, poop, and anxiety relating to those things. If you are sensitive to those topics, please take note and care.

While this is definitely a rom-com, it also doesn’t shy away from covering heavy topics, especially in regards to Shani’s ex-girlfriend. The discussion around Shani’s discomfort with sex following Sadie sexually assaulting her was handled very well, and I loved that 1) both Jake Maia Arlow and Shani herself drew a clear line between someone not being comfortable with sex due to trauma and asexuality, as Shani is the former and not the latter and 2) that the book did not end with Shani miraculously overcoming her trauma and having sex with May and instead with the two of them agreeing to take it slow. I can foresee some people possibly having problems with the way that the third-act breakup plays out and how it ties into Shani’s past assault, but I think it felt like a realistic response to trauma as opposed to using sexual assault as a plot device. I also love that this is a YA book that centers on college freshman but is still very much appropriate for a teen audience—the college experience is not really central to the book since it takes place during Shani’s internship during winter break, but the element of being alone (especially during a time of year where family is seen as the central focus) is very much there. Also I forgot to mention this in my original review since I wrote it uh. very late at night but this was also SO funny at times. Genuinely some of the most realistic texting (especially the Beep Beep Scene; you'll know it when you get there) that managed to be funny and also feel like actual texting conversations I'd have with my friends. Let me reiterate: Shani, who we’ve been told reveres the field of palaeontology and for whom this internship is a dream-come-true throws priceless artefacts in the trash… Personally, if I were her manager, I would’ve been convicted of murder after that. As someone who had a huge (huge!) palaeontology and dinosaur obsession throughout my life and who did minor studies in the field during my time at university, I could not imagine liking someone so much that I throw fossils —literal million year-old artefacts that have ground-breaking scientific potential— in the bin, even if it were an accident.

About this book

Representation of queer women who are sexually assaulted by other queer women is important because it’s a topic that’s scarcely spoken of. However, ‘How to Excavate a Heart ‘ does not deal with this issue in a mature, nuanced or sensitive manner at all. If anything, it felt little more like a means to an end, a plot point to be whipped out at the very end to excuse the main character’s bad personality and then brushed over.

hmm, okay. this is probably pretty solidly in the 3.5 stars camp, for me. overall, i would rec it, but it wasn't quite what i thought it was going to be? i think the 'enemies to lovers' isn't rlly accurate despite the way the main characters meet, it didn't rlly feel like it fits that trope. equally, i don't think this is a romcom. it's not rlly funny, it's def more of a character study/coming of age. a romance≠romcom, and i feel like a lot of marketing (esp with the more mainstream publishers) seem to just slap romcom onto anything with romance. i was also under the impression (based on the characters being freshmen in college) that this was more NA and less YA, so i had to adjust my expecations abt what the book was, a little. i think if those things were a little more upfront in the marketing, then i would have enjoyed it a little more, just bc there were adjustments being made while reading. I'm always less invested in stories where we skip from people antagonistic towards each other to suddenly hanging out and flirting and there's no journey about how we got here. It significantly reduces my investment and enjoyment in a relationship and that's what happened here. We go from Shani's mom nearly mowing down May to May shutting the door on Shani's face to suddenly hanging out at art galleries and 100% falling for each other and I feel like I missed something. now, to the actual story. it was a solid character study/coming of age with a side of romance YA book with some good rep and topics that aren't explored as often, that i've seen at least, in some ficton. namely a spoiler but also a heads up for, cw: sexual assault queer women assaulting other queer women, which is def important to talk abt, it happens, and in a lot of ways, i appreciated how this story showd shani dealing with what happened with sadie and how everyone in her life helped her when they found out. I do admittedly feel like I have broken some sort of law by reading a book pitched as “if a Hallmark movie starred sexually frustrated lesbian Jews” and that was originally titled “Winter Break” on a very hot and humid August day, but honestly I’m glad I did because now I can confidently say that you all need to add this to your winter TBRs.How to Excavate a Heart” by Jake Maia Arlow is a super sweet enemies-to-lovers rom-com set around the winter holidays. Another thing that was well done was showcasing two very messy, very stereotypical (and self-aware of it) lesbian teens in all their messy, immature glory. This was very enjoyable and it was nice to have a holiday romance that doesn’t revolve around Christmas. Shani and May are both Jewish and I liked how that made it just different enough to notice. I highly recommend this to fans of YA and winter holiday rom-coms. This is my second middle grade novel, and the first one with chronically ill characters. The entire main cast is both queer and chronically ill (they all have IBD). I was diagnosed with Crohn's when I w Keep your friends close and the bathroom closer. My last straw was when she's thinking "I should confess this thing to May. This is the time to confess my thing. It's going to be bad if this thing comes out later, I should tell her." And she doesn't ever tell her the thing. At that point, I'm all "why am I bothering with this person who can't make a good choice to save her life?" Every time a thing is hard, she blows it. Morality is about when it's hard. The things you'd do anyway? Those aren't to your credit. And Shani never once passed that test.