Having suffered from my own mental health and PTSD for many years, I always like to hear from others who can share their own personal stories. Former Hollyoaks star Joe Tracini joins father Joe Pasquale in Spamalot". Digital Spy. 15 April 2015 . Retrieved 17 April 2015. Oh shit, nearly forgot. Thing I know about you because you’re reading an article about hope number three

I feel that BPD is often a dirty word in the mental health world, but to see the realness and power that It holds over someone’s life is a real eye opener and I’m so glad, however hard it must have been to write, it is out there in public. Joes story is far from pretty and very heartbreaking at times and the reason behind him writing this book is one of pure honestly. Not only is this book moving but I feel it will be educational not only for those without the illness, but for those with it to know that it’s okay to feel these things.

Summary

He doesn’t delve into where his BPD came from, although it’s fairly obvious his Mum and Dad weren’t Mr and Mrs Perfect Pants Parents. Perhaps that’s because they’ll be reading his book? But he does make it obvious they were more likely to take a pair of shears to pernicious weeds in the garden rather than dig them up by the roots. Disapproval and emotional distance are clearly big factors in his family dynamic. Life is just so exhausting, he says, that there is not a moment when he is unaware of himself. Has he never felt inner calm? Actually, yes, there was one day, recently. Joe Anderton (14 May 2019). "Hollyoaks' Joe Tracini opens up about mental health struggles". Digital Spy . Retrieved 14 May 2019. When Tracini was finally diagnosed with BPD in his late 20s, it was life-changing. “I felt such relief knowing that what I had was a thing, because my immediate thought process on it was: if it’s a thing, you can fix a thing. I thought I was beyond repair. I thought that I was utterly done for ever.” He was told that long-term, regular therapy might make it slightly better. It was good enough for him. It gave him hope.

Coming of Age', 'How Not To Live' axed by BBC Three". Digital Spy. 27 May 2011 . Retrieved 17 April 2015. It doesn't just make an argument for honesty, it makes one for kindness and understanding (without ever taking them for granted). Writing this book has been the hardest thing I've ever done. It had to be dragged into the world, with my condition telling me that every single word, sentence and chapter was terrible and would make strangers walk up to me in the street and punch me in the face. Most importantly, it’s funny – I’m not a one for ‘misery memoirs’ – and laughter is the best medicine etc. It’s also superbly enlightening about this complex mental illness. Most people with BPD are undiagnosed as it takes a pretty serious crash to sit up and think: hey, something’s not quite right here. As soon as he was old enough, he changed his name. He chose Tracini because his grandfather, wrongly, told him it was the original family surname. “My adult career has been trying to undo everything that I taught myself growing up about how to be like my dad.” He still adored his father; he just wanted to be his own person – whoever that was.Despite his poor mental health, Tracini has had a stable professional life – he has rarely been without work. He left Hollyoaks in 2014 after a three-year stint, thinking he would go on to something bigger and better. But there was nothing bigger than trying to quell the voices in his head. He briefly returned to Hollyoaks in 2018, after his diagnosis, but acting gigs were increasingly hard to come by. Since 2017, he has presented the children’s TV show The Dengineers (“Basically Grand Designs for kids”) with Meryl Fernandes. In December, it won a Children’s Bafta for best factual entertainment show. Joe Tracini To Star In Spamalot Tour Alongside His Father Joe Pasquale From May 11!". Broadway World. 15 April 2015 . Retrieved 17 April 2015. I didn't know anything about BPD till I watched Joe's videos. He has a very dark side and a very funny side of himself. He tries to explain what your life is like when you essentially have a brain that's trying to kill you every day.' - Davina McCall He has also written a book called 'Ten Things I Hate About Me' to help others in a similar situation, and says he struggles to stay alive everyday because he believes his brain is trying to kill him. Well, we talked about getting a rabbit and that’s quite long term, because we haven’t got a garden yet!” says Houseman.