These books are written by professionals who have years of experience in psychology and the mental health field. They’ll help you understand what boundaries are and how to set limits with everyone in your life. Because, believe it or not, without healthy boundaries, your life is pretty much screwed. 1. Boundaries, by Henry Cloud, John Townsend I was raised in the church, not by choice. ;-) So, my biggest takeaways from reading this book are the verses of scripture I can respond with the next time someone attempts to use scripture to guilt me into allowing them to cross healthy boundaries. The holidays with the family are going to be so much more fun now! Incredible book. It has helped me so much to consider how to navigate situations at work, at home and in social situations. I highly recommend it, especially if you don't especially love confrontations, like myself. Does your life feel like it's out of control? Perhaps you feel like you have to say yes to everyone's requests. Maybe you find yourself readily taking responsibility for others' feelings and problems. Or perhaps you focus so much on being loving and unselfish that you've forgotten your own limits and limitations. Or maybe it's all of the above. Not in my normal genre so I can't give this 5 Stars...SCREW THAT!!!! 5 Stars, 5 Stars, 5 Stars! 100 Stars if I could give 100 stars! *Sigh* Oh well, 5 Stars it is.

My dear friend gave me this as a gift in a phenomenally difficult season and I knew then that I probably needed it – but it took more than a year for me to get the courage to open it up. Of every book that I’ve read, Boundaries is the one I recommend most often. All of us can overcommit, become doormats, or find ourselves in codependent and dysfunctional relationships. Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend’s one-of-a-kind book helps guide the reader through a change in mindset that eventually leads to a change in actions. If you know you have some unhealthy patterns in friendships, at work, in your schedule, with technology or your family, this book will help you establish the boundaries you need to create the life you are supposed to live.” This book is just a bunch of Christian psycho-babble about how to 'say no'. the author drones on and on with example situations about a working mom driving the kids to soccer practice, being asked to volunteer at church, all the while juggling her career with the needs of her jerk of a husband and bratty / whining kids. Really, it's not much more than a book created to give people excuses for making bad choices in the first place. if you don't want to be volunteered for your church's building program by fund raising with a cookie drive, don't be 'that person' who always says 'yes'. As a non-believer, I was disappointed when starting reading and honestly I wouldn’t have bought the book in the first place if I had noticed it had been about setting boundaries based on biblical ideology.

In addition to CBT, I use mindfulness and self-compassion concepts. By tuning in to the present, mindfulness can help you regulate your emotions, especially when you’re overwhelmed or upset. And self-compassion fosters self-acceptance, resiliency, and motivation. Many people talk about boundaries and how important they are. But do they actually know how to practice what they preach? Boundaries are certain rules or values that define who you are as a person. Having strong values prevent you from accepting a low-paying job, getting drunk with your friends to please them, or letting a toxic parent control you or your married life. I'm 6 months into establishing more healthy boundaries & I find myself referring to this passage each time I'm met w/resistance to my new healthy boundaries:

Practice the assertiveness skills that you need to say “no” and set limits. Boundaries are essential to keep yourself physically and emotionally safe and to safeguard your time, energy, and money for the things that matter most. Setting limits can also protect you from getting involved in exploitative relationships, and help you avoid toxic personalities who don’t have your best interests at heart. Express your needs If you want the most comprehensive, relevant, and relatable guide to setting boundaries, speaking your needs, and living a more peaceful life, Nedra Tawwab’s book on boundaries is for you.” This workbook is full of exercises and reflective questions designed to help you practice and integrate the concepts you’re learning.

Endorsements

The first thing you need to learn is that the person who is angry at you for setting boundaries is the one with the problem...Maintaining your boundaries is good for other people; it will help them learn what their families of origin did not teach them: to respect other people. Setting healthy boundaries is good for your relationships, your business, and your finances. The Book of Boundaries shows you how to stand up for yourself, say no, and communicate your needs in a way that leaves you feeling confident and empowered. Melissa Urban gives you the tools, affirmations, and language you need to reclaim your time, energy, and health.” Most people will say their family of origin was dysfunctional. They struggle with healthy relationships in work, spouse/partner relationships and even with children. This is a book to learn how to be able to define what we missed growing up so we don't repeat our history...

People who fail to set boundaries are likely to grow to loathe the people who overstate their unstated boundaries. God is a distinct being, separate from his own creations as well and he is responsible for himself. He tells us what he likes and dislikes, who he is, and who is not. I’m excited to share The Better Boundaries Workbook with you because I know, from personal and professional experience, that healthy boundaries can transform your life. If you struggle to stand up for yourself, ask for what you need, or feel guilty or afraid when you do, learning to set boundaries can increase your self-esteem and confidence, and help you create respectful, satisfying relationships. Of course, this doesn’t happen all at once. As you know, setting boundaries is tough. However, I’m confident that with the concepts in this book and committed practice, you can learn to set effective boundaries. What I came to see was in any relationship where I feel tension, it is usually due to boundary confusion. On the other hand, if you come from a family of narcissists, not only you weren’t taught boundaries but you were even encouraged to accept abuse from others and believe that it is OK.The concepts taught in this book have had a dramatic impact on my life. I first read it ten years ago and since then I've talked about it continually with friends and family. I recommended it to yet another friend a few weeks ago and realized it might be high time for a re-read. It is still as poignant as when I first read it and I consider the information in this book crucial to my emotional intelligence and development. The principles of the law of the harvest and of personal responsibility are still the most valuable takeaways for me all these years later and because these principles are truly foundational to my interactions with others, I have to continue to rate this book 5 stars. It really was an absolute life-changer for me. Henry Cloud’s workbook on boundaries is based on the one above. However, this has a more practical approach. 3. Where to draw the line: how to set healthy boundaries every day, by Anne Katherine

I was surprised just now to discover I had not written a review of this book, which has made such a huge difference in my life. Or parents who “love” their children by giving their everything and giving in all the time while the children grow up feeling unloved. then those parents wonder “after all I’ve done?” How many marriages could have been saved if one spouse had followed through on the threat “if you don’t stop drinking.. ” or “hit me” or “yelling at the kids” I will leave until you get some treatment. Don’t Help Those Who Don’t Learn I've also learned how to walk away from relationships/friendships with people who don't respect & accept my "no" the first or second time I say it. If I have to say "no" more than once or twice, I won't continue to engage w/the person. If you have to say "no" more than twice, you're dealing with a manipulator.In case, you don’t manage to set limits with your loved ones, ask help from a counselor who is specialized in this subject. There’s nothing wrong with asking for help. Look within yourself and wonder why you have such strong reactions. Do they remind you of your mother or father? I was hesitant at first to read this book because the synopsis referred to Christians and being that I am not Christian and not seeking to live a Christian lifestyle, I didn't think it would be for me. However, I did start to read the first chapter and soon discovered it was indeed for me. I may not be a Christian, however I was raised Christian therefore learned about boundaries the way Christian see them, a bit too loose and forgiving. Now updated and expanded, this classic book is more timely and relevant than ever for today’s “always on, always there” culture. If technology and social media are intruding on your life and relationships, learn from the boundaries experts how to protect yourself and the people you love. This life-changing book is still the go-to guide for healthy relationships, personal growth, and true freedom in Christ.” Independently of one’s religious creed and fully respecting Cloud’s writing, knowledge, and beliefs, I always wish for more data, more psychology, and fewer scripture references. PROS