I do feel that reading about the four-colour behavioral model in the author's previous book Surrounded by Idiots may help to understand certain area in this book much more. I enjoyed the overall flow of the book. It started with a foundation, built from there, and explored new concepts that audiences may not expect. For instance, the last part of the book discusses collective narcissism, which isn’t a usual topic when talking about narcissists. It really got under my skin that the author never treated narcissism as a serious problem. "Well, did a little narcissism ever hurt anybody?" He made it sound like narcissism is simply "being too selfish" and "talks about themselves a little too much." In The Narcissism Epidemic, published in 2009, psychologists Twenge and Campbell argue that narcissism is becoming dangerously widespread in American culture. Even people who don’t have NPD are behaving in narcissistic ways.

You can break up with a partner or cut ties with a friend. But what if you feel like you’re literally surrounded by narcissists? It may even be your partner or someone in your family. Perhaps you’ve noticed that this person can be deceitful – even manipulative – at times. I am writing this review awhile after I read the book. It is hard enough to give a critical review, but since this book is about psychology; I had to process my feelings about it. And my biggest feeling is that while there were some helpful and interesting parts to this book, it is more harmful than anything. But let’s start with the “good”. Therefore, adult children of narcissists experience love that’s conditional only (based on certain conditions and specific actions that must be demonstrated). From that experience of needing to behave in a certain way to be loved and accepted, they never receive the validation, empathy, and unconditional love and nurture that we humans all so desperately crave. Surrounded by Narcissists by Thomas Erikson provides insight into recognizing and avoiding toxic behaviors in others. In addition, the book discusses various ways to defend yourself against narcissistic people and to help you thrive in your environments.And try not to feel bad about cutting a narcissist out of your life. You have the right to protect your emotional well-being. Society is becoming more narcissistic. Well, it depends on how you define “dangerous.” Narcissists can certainly be psychologically dangerous. Cheating, lying, manipulating, gaslighting, love bombing, playing mind games – all of these harmful behaviors can damage people’s mental health. Outstanding . . . Erikson impresses with his trademark facility for making research-based discussions accessible and entertaining, and readers will appreciate the insightful guidance. This is another home run from Erikson.' Publishers Weekly

Erikson tells a story about a researcher. For some reason, this researcher decided to lend his Mercedes to a narcissist who’d just been released from prison. Unsurprisingly, the researcher never saw his car again. In one version of the myth, Narcissus sits by a pond, gazing lovingly at his own reflection. He’s so obsessed that he stays there until he starves to death. The language, as always with this author, is friendly and non-scientific. Unlike in other books by Thomas Erikson, DISC is not the main point, although concepts still get repeated plenty of times.

We don’t just “get over” being raised by a narcissist. It takes strong therapeutic support to “peel the onion” and heal the wounds -- to have the courage to look at the specific brand of narcissism you experienced (it’s different in every family), how this has impacted you and the way you operate, and learn new behaviors that will allow you to heal the child within and become the adult you long to be.

He says weird things like how protecting yourself from narcissism is realizing you are not special. Then he goes up to say they are a few special people like Kim Kardashian and Bill Gates. He says don’t be an influencer, work hard. Then actually says people like Kim Kardashian worked hard! She is the definition of a jobless influencer.Read the examples with Linda (no spoilers here🫶) it makes the idea more clear (and it’s hilarious I just can’t-). First, explain that you plan to put more emphasis on your own needs. Then, tell your partner how you expect to be treated: My needs matter too. I want to be treated with respect from now on. So he's stroking his own ego. "I know SO much about this topic! But let's move on to the next subject, shall we?" That’s why you’ll need some additional methods for dealing with narcissists. Let’s look at how to set boundaries.