I have been fortunate to wear a collar both in real-life and online in my various journeys in this lifestyle. It was never something I rushed into and it was always something I viewed with respect. It was something that I had earned the right to wear. But how does one earn the right? A foot fetish involves a desire to worship feet through acts such as massage, kissing, and smelling. As professional dominatrix Goddess Aviva previously told Allure, it's an extremely common fetish. If your partner shares that they have a foot fetish, it may be initially jarring, but it's an opportunity for you to discuss a potentially exciting new part of your sex life together. (And, if you're into it, just think of all the foot massages headed your way!) 4. Anal Sex My Lord organized a lovely ceremony for just us; dressed as he'd wanted, I did what he instructed before pledging myself to him and accepting his collar. It was done; I was a collared slave now, always wearing it as a symbol of my complete submission and surrender to him. Erotic humiliation lets you reclaim embarrassment by getting off on it. "Humiliation play is a consensual power exchange that is a very typical fetish. It can help people heal parts of the self that may have been bullied as a child. There's a sense of mastery over something that may have previously been non-consensual," says Renye. 14. Spectrophilia Yes, pregnancy can be the result of sex, but it can also turn people on. Pregnancy kinks include a desire to get someone pregnant (sometimes known as a breeding fetish) and an attraction to pregnant people. "The former is one with an element of riskiness. There's a permanent potential to be forever with the consequences of unprotected heterosexual intercourse," says Renye. The latter may simply be an attraction to a pregnant body or could be a type of age play. 23. Tentacles

Dominance and submission refer to a consensual erotic power exchange between two (or more) people. Although it may sound scary, due to consent and safety precautions kinkster engage in, a D/S scene can be safer than a vanilla hook-up. "Any time that we are talking about power control, that is the safest kind of sex that partners can have because there's so much communication, trust, and vulnerability built into these kinds of exchanges and sexual experiences," says sex therapist and author of Reclaiming Pleasure: A Sex Positive Guide for Moving Past Sexual Trauma and Living a Passionate Life Dr. Holly Richmond. 16. Autonepiophilia For instance, while Ji-hoo does develop a desire for Ji-woo to enter a D&S dynamic with him as her submissive, he’s careful not to push or pressure her into engaging in things she may not feel comfortable with. Likewise, Ji-woo takes the time and effort to understand her feelings and what the relationship would entail, thoroughly researching the concept and establishing a contract that emphasises consent from both parties involved. Be clear about what you like and what you want. In the real world, you may not stumble upon the perfect domme in the workplace. But, you owe it to yourself to be honest about what you want to experience. Love And Leashes, however, is refreshingly different. Instead of following in the footsteps of its predecessors – many of which highlighted and glamorised the unlikely precariousness of BDSM – the film chooses to emphasise what are arguably the most important albeit overlooked aspects of such relationships: consent and mutual respect. Spectrophilia refers to having a thing for ghosts because sometimes humans aren't worth it. It usually involves the fantasy of a spirit, but sometimes people believe they actually have sex with one at night or while they sleep. Traditionally, a succubus refers to a female sex ghost, and an incubus is a male ghost that has sex with humans as they sleep. 15. Dominance and Submission

Did we miss something on diversity?

As with many sexual fetishes and kinks, the actuality of BDSM is often overcast by the various (often negative) misconceptions among the general public. Popular Western films that have touched on these dynamics, like the Fifty Shades Of Grey series or even American Psycho, are often rife with tropes that perpetuate or even glorify harmful stereotypes of the power play between the dominant partner and their submissives. While people often use the terms "fetish" and "kink" interchangeably, a kink means an activity or behavior that someone enjoys that exists outside the "norm" of "traditional" sex, such as incorporating handcuffs or even balloons. Think of the differences this way: If someone's kink is bondage, they probably get incredibly excited when they're tied up. If someone has a bondage fetish, their entire sexuality may revolve around restraint. (There's also the category of turn-ons: things that simply arouse a person.) This is probably a confusing concept for some submissives because of what is commonly known as a Velcro collar. A Velcro collar really has no true meaning behind it and is given and taken away on a whim. Many would argue that it cheapens what a true collar means and I quite frankly have to agree. I say this because it’s not earned in any traditional sense. This is a puritanical culture too, so sex is taboo. We don’t talk about sex. Many of those barriers are being broken down, thankfully. Like those people sitting around that conference table [in the film], people want to point fingers and say, “That’s perverted.” But did you notice when they were sitting around the table, they kept digging for details too? Whether or not there is a ceremony is up to both parties. Usually, in my experience, it is a private affair but sometimes it is witnessed by close friends. It is a solemn occasion and one to be taken with seriousness. There is no right or wrong way to it. Though sometimes it may be followed by a party.

It was a nice juxtaposition to see how communication works [or doesn’t] when someone is playing with control, even in the sub position.A lot of couples explore power dynamics. I would say start with curiosity. If you’re being curious with your partner, it keeps them out of a position of defensiveness. Taking off that judgmental, sex-negative lens that the ex-girlfriend [in the film] portrayed so well, saying, “That’s weird. That’s perverted.” If we can get over all of that and communicate with curiosity: Do you want to do this? There’s your consent. What would feel good for you? There’s your pleasure. A mainstream South Korean film depicting a BDSM relationship and starring Girls’ Generation’s Seohyun was most certainly not on our bingo cards for 2022. No one could have anticipated that a South Korean film would ever dare centre itself so heavily around the topic of sex, much less unabashedly delve into the world of sexual fetishes and kinks as Love And Leashes does – and yet, here we are.

The only thing that leaves us wanting more is the on-screen chemistry between Seohyun and Lee, which at times fails to justify the magnetic, nearly inextricable relationship they’re trying to depict. Certain high-tension scenes come off as awkward, while some others make them look like amicable friends at best. The film itself could also benefit from better pacing, as it suffers from unnecessarily long-drawn events that leave space for viewers to grow disinterested, particularly in its second act.In many ways, Love and Leashes is progressive for Korea, as this film features a submissive man wanting a dominant woman master (but not a "dominatrix" exactly). It tries to flip the conventional sexual power relationship featured so prominently in Fifty Shades of Grey. Right out of the gate, the film wants to establish that it's "sensitive and with the times" by not allowing a "homophobic" presence in their company where the two main characters work. The film tries to call out sexually inappropriate behavior and comments in the workplace. And it tries to differentiate between respectful or genuine BDSM men from "bad ones" who just want to dominant and rape women. But the film also starts with the premise that, "no relationship can be equal, power-wise... there's always one who is dominant and one who is submissive." It has the definite meaning to both the Dominant and the submissive. It is something to be cherished and respected just like any other type of union. I’d even go so far as to say it is sacred. A lot of women dream of being overpowered — that they’re so desirable their partner can’t keep their hands off them. It’s a very common fantasy. The awful guy, he didn’t get that. He thought she just wanted to be dominated, and that’s so not what it’s about. Did you know you can flag iffy content? Adjust limits for Violence & Scariness in your kid's entertainment guide. Get started Close Often, people forget that sex and love aren’t the same because of how great feel-good hormones are, especially when they find a person who doesn’t shame them for their sexual urges. However, sex and love are two separate actions. Make sure you discern between the two.