Raising children with the good-inside approach is ultimately about love and respect. Most behaviors that children exhibit should be easily understandable. After all, we have many of those same behaviors even as adults. Recognize that behavior isn’t the problem and that changing behavior isn’t the ultimate goal. Your child is good inside. There’s a reason they’re behaving the way they are. Your approach to their behavior has to start with connection. Your job is to hold boundaries. And by doing these things, you’re creating an environment that allows your child to feel safe, loved, and good on the outside. Genres In summary, I think every parent should read this book. This review really only scratches the surface. Every time I opened the book to reference for this post, I’d find something else I wanted to include. I had to finally just cut myself off, lol!

Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming - OceanofPDF [PDF] [EPUB] Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming - OceanofPDF

Es vēlos, lai mans bērns spētu tikt galā ar visu, ko pasaule liek viņam priekšā. Es vēlētos, kaut viņš justos atbalstīts grūtos brīžos, esot vēl maziņš, lai varētu sevi atbalstīt pieaugot. Parents have the job of establishing safety and connection through boundaries, validation, and empathy. Children have the job of exploring and learning through experiencing and expressing their emotions. We all have to stay in our lanes: Our kids should not dictate our boundaries, and we should not dictate their feelings. This concept kind of blew my mind. I’ve applied it to nearly every relationship in my life since I read this book. In this Blink, you’ll learn how to use connection-based strategies and find a way to hold your boundaries while teaching your child how to navigate their feelings and experiences without fear, shame, or self-doubt. However, if I do have a meltdown myself, I should regroup with my child later. We need to debrief the birthday thing, and then do a Repair ceremony where I apologize for being upset. We have now spent at least 90 minutes of the day just hashing over our emotions related to this birthday party, plus the emotional residue of all the unpleasantness has tainted the entire day.

As someone who gets overstimulated easily, tantrums can be hard for me to deal with. It always helps to remind myself that tantrums, while uncomfortable, are normal and healthy. In these moments, the child is experiencing an emotion that is simply too big for them to regulate at their stage of development.

Good Inside by Dr Becky Kennedy | Waterstones

Jūs esat sava bērna dzīvesspēka arhitekti, un tā ir labākā dāvana, ko varat viņam sniegt. Galu galā spēja sekmīgi pārvarēt daudzos dzīves mestos izaicinājumus ir visdrošākais ceļš uz cilvēka laimi. We want to prepare our kids to cope with emotions, not protect them from emotions they will inevitably experience. Resilience over happiness. 5. Tell the truth. The early years matter because long before a child has conscious memory, they store memory in their bodies. They recognize the people in their lives who make them feel safe and loved. They form attachments and connections. Paradoxically, the more secure they feel with a parent, the freer they feel to be curious, explore, and push boundaries. Dzīvesspēka stiprināšana nozīmē attīstīt spēju izturēt grūtības, neatkāpties sarežģītā, izaicinošā dzīves brīdī, atrast pamatu zem kājām un labo pat tad, ja trūkst pierādījumu par to, ka gaidāmi panākumi.Nepievēršot uzmanību tam, kas notiek dziļāk, zem virsējā slāņa, mēs nespēsim mainīt spēkus, kas ierosina bērna uzvedību. Tas būtu līdzīgi kā nolikt spaini vietā, kur no griestiem tek ūdens, nevis meklēt cēloni, kāpēc tas tek. Ja pievēršamies galvenokārt uzvedībai, mēs zaudējam iespēju palīdzēt saviem bērniem attīstīt prasmes, kā arī palaižam garām iespēju raudzīties uz saviem bērniem kā uz cilvēkiem, nevis uzvedību kopumā. Trying to see what the deal is with this very popular thing. I was curious about the book because when I'd heard Kennedy in an interview and in a bit of her podcast, I've found her suggested language to be passive-aggressive, guilt-trippy, and just phenomenally wordy. I actually thought the book was a lot better in this regard.

Good Inside: A Practical Guide to Becoming the Parent You

Connection-building is ongoing and it creates the best environment for kids to bring their inside good to the outside, but it doesn’t do away with unwanted behaviors. In the next section, let’s talk first about bad behaviors, and then about normal behaviors that look bad. When Disconnection Occurs This is an episode of TED Talks Daily, a podcast that shares thought-provoking ideas on every subject imaginable, every weekday. I have found myself asking this question, or at least trying to remember to ask myself this question, before I respond or react. Asking this question immediately changes our posture from accusatory to one of empathy and listening.Sometimes a child’s emotional demands are too high and it comes out in their body. Emotional tantrums, aggressive tantrums, and fear and anxiety are all manifestations of high emotional demands on a child who’s unable to regulate them. If your child has no intrinsic motivation to complete something, you can either bully them (authoritarian parenting), or you can provide extrinsic motivation (authoritative parenting), or you let them skip it (permissive parenting). Mūsu bērns nevar iemācīties regulēt emocijas, no kurām mēs paši kā tiecamies izvairīties vai atbrīvoties. Mūsu mērķim kaprīžu lēkmes laikā ir jābūt šādam: saglabāt mieru un aizsargāt savus bērnus. Pēc tam mums jāpastiprina sava klātbūtne, lai bērni kā piemēru varētu uzsūkt sevī mūsu pašregulēšanas prasmes, kad viņi izsitas no līdzsvara. There’s no one right way to repair, though there are baseline to-dos: Say you’re sorry, share your reflections, and say what you plan to do differently in the future. It’s important to take ownership of your role instead of insinuating that your child “made you” react a certain way. I told my friend that the book is kind of a convergence between Den Siegel and Brené Brown’s work. A little bit of No Drama Discipline and Whole Brain Child mixed with a healthy dose of Daring Greatly and Gifts of Imperfection (I highly recommend all four of those, by the way).

Book Summary: Good Inside by Becky Kennedy Book Summary: Good Inside by Becky Kennedy

Once safety is accomplished, connect with your child. Get to the root of why they lost control and help them understand. Don’t forget to tell the truth. Recommend to any parent or teacher. A huge paradigm shift with lots of practical steps to make it tangible.Developing a close, considerate, caring relationship with your child based on mutual respect is probably the primary indicator of whether you will have a successful outcome. Arguably, the most important connection-building technique is something we’ve already discussed: repair. Your goal should never be to avoid relationship ruptures – because that’s impossible. But if you learn the skill of repair, you’ll strengthen your relationships and give your children the skills they need to be resilient in the future. Book Summary: The Connected Child by Karyn B. Purvis The Connected Child is a book that focuses on the importance of attachment and connection in the lives of children. Written by Karyn B. Purvis, the book provides parents, caregivers,… This book does have some great content. I don’t hate all of it. And there are plenty of other parenting methods (RIE, modern Montessori, Love and Logic) that have super-weird aspects to them, some of which are counterproductive. When you read a parenting book, you are reading someone’s deeply biased opinions, and you need to bring your brain and a shaker of salt.