Being helpful is nice. But too much of anything is always bad. The people that you are helping need to learn how to help themselves. Realistically, you will not be available forever. Plus, how many times have you done a “favor” only to see the person you helped use their new free time for something fun you could be doing. There's an important difference, of course, between responding appropriately to bad treatment, and demanding the world bends to your every entitled whim -- but the lines in this seem to get somewhat blurred. Michelle is the queen of boundaries. We all need this book, now more than ever! Whether it’s work, romance, family or friends, Michelle will guide you through the process of setting boundaries. By the end of the book you’ll be proud to call yourself selfish because it will mean you are showing yourself the love and respect you deserve.”

Be prepared to accept the consequences of your boundaries (but discourtesy shouldn’t be one of them) Aspects really resonated with me. I have constant urning to feel liked so have often done or said things I didn’t really want to do to please others to the detrimental effect on myself but on the flip side there were elements I found myself cringing at or shaking my head as it just felt too “dramatic” for me. BUT that’s the point isn’t it? What is too much for me might not be for others which is why boundaries are there.

Silence is another useful tool: You don’t have to participate in a conversation that makes you feel uncomfortable. People do notice, Elman said. If they don’t and insist on engaging you in an uncomfortable topic, she suggested saying, “Can we change the conversation to something more interesting?” Expect life to change My own life experience (I'm twice her age) has shown me how people with too many boundaries eventually come crashing off their self-appointed pedestals with a bump, and end up needing to do even more healing as a result. The book is written in an engaging, direct style that is easy to follow. Some parts and examples have a nice self-deprecating flair to it. On top of that, the book offers various exercises one can do to improve boundaries. Although Elman doesn't explain them in any detail, she hints at/uses a number of models common in other self-help books (Eisenhower's importance/urgency matrix, stimulus-response and shifting paradigms)

It's time to discover the joy of being selfish and reclaim your life through the art of boundaries! Life coach and influencer @scarrednotscared Michelle Elman is here to teach you the practical side of self-love. Creating and upholding strong boundaries will teach others how to treat you, rid your life of drama and toxic relationships and allow you to love yourself and others in the best way you can. A truly inspirational woman whose brave choices have created a path to self-acceptance for people everywhere."Elman is a body positivity veteran ... Her realistic approach to loving yourself is refreshing, and her posts are an important reminder that loving yourself isn't automatic. It takes time and work - but the journey is worthwhile" Digital Reads A Curse For True Love : the thrilling final book in the Once Upon a Broken Heart series The author uses the concept of 'childhood trauma' a little too liberally for my tastes. Any and all issues with boundaries she, without hesitation, attributes to some parenting failure you had to endure as a child. This is the third book in a row with 5 stars?? Maybe I need to stop reading so many amazing books. Anyways, this is an extremely valuable book and I’m glad I finally got around to buying and reading it. It’s one of those books I could see being on read-before-you-die lists. Boundaries have been this buzz-word that I’ve used in my new years resolutions but I wasn’t exactly sure what that looked like until this book. Seeing social media posts from Michelle already helped me a lot with topics covered in this book, but isn’t it convenient and comforting that it’s in this little easy-to-read book too? I would highly recommend this book for anyone, honestly. Hopefully, I’ll be applying the things I learned to my life :> There are lots of terms like self-love and self-care, but what exactly do they mean?’ asks Michelle.