Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder

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Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder

Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder

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Eggshells do not promote a healthy environment for family living. Ignoring them is not a good strategy. You cannot afford to keep making excuses and denying the severity of the situation. Yet, why is so hard to clear the eggshells? Now it’s time to once again act, to do something with those emotions, your awareness. Now is the time to do what you couldn’t do as a child—let others know how you feel rather than thinking, "I can only feel better if I make them feel better."

People walk on eggshells in their marriage or family relationships. Occasionally it happens when someone is having a bad day. That’s normal.These mood swings can be quite intense or sudden and can last for a long time. It’s also important to understand that if you’re constantly finding yourself walking on eggshells around your partner, then your partner might be guilty of emotional abuse. Emotional abuse involves manipulating and controlling actions that one does to embarrass, shame, and criticize the other. Your partner is already angry and is already lashing out at you. As much as you want to talk, you bite your lip and swallow the harsh words that your partner is saying. You don’t want to make things worse, so you choose to stay quiet. 4. Non-verbal abuse is present Guilt: When your normal activities trigger the BP, the person plays the “Tag, You’re It” game discussed in chapter 3 and shifts responsibility for her upset feelings onto you. The BP may accuse you not only of devious behavior but of acting in this way to deliberately hurt her. Instead of questioning her assumptions,you may respond by feeling guilty You miss these opportunities when you don’t have a reliable strategy.Sure, these agreements are only a small piece of the puzzle. In some ways they’re just the first step before the real work begins. Because you still need to know:

Don’t make threats in an angry or controlling way (“If you do this again I’m leaving you!”). This may come across as punishing. Even if you choose to set this limit, it should come across as something you are doing for yourself, not something against the other person. For example, during times when you’re both calm, you could explain which actions you cannot tolerate and which of these will force you to leave the relationship. Empathize with and listen to the BP. Show that you are trying to understand how she feels. Ask questions in a concerned way, such as, “How are you feeling?” and “Is there anything I can do?”Learn to lift yourself up. Remind yourself that you deserve love and even compassion . Save yourself first before you save your relationship. 2. Stop blaming yourself

Stepping on eggshells or walking on eggshells is the best description for anyone who is around a person who has erratic, explosive, and unpredictable behavior. Express: Express your feelings or opinions about the situation clearly. Take responsibility for your own feelings; do not say, “You made me feel this way.” Instead say, “I felt this way.” Is this how you want to live your life? To constantly try to please your manipulative partner just to get affection? Remember that your partner is not your boss. 11. Anything for love If you are tired of walking on eggshells in your relationship, then it’s time to break this unhealthy and toxic habit. Stop tolerating your partner’s behavior and act to see the change that you want.If you feel like you’re walking on eggshells in your relationship, then here are some common signs you need to look out for;



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