With spreader bars you can move around, change positions, and change places. You are not tied to one place, you’re tied to one thing😉 If you and your partner have already experimented with toys in the bedroom, whether that be a vibrator, blindfolds, or any other kind of restraints, then bringing a spreader bar to play should be pretty straightforward. If you apply a maximal force you can definitely break it as it’s not really meant for a hardcore BDSM play. This spreader bar sex position is a popular favorite - mostly because it leaves everything "on display" - which can feel pretty vulnerable for the bound person. It also leaves the butt and/or vagina easily available which can make for easy intercourse or including some body safe sex toys. This bondage sex position is also more comfortable - and easier to stay in - than many other spreader bar bondage sex positions on this list which means that everyone can take their time. Take that "Advanced X Position" - and flip it upside down so the person is on their hands and knees. Not only does this leave the entire butt available, but it also grants easier access to everything fun between the thighs.

In the world of BDSM, using spreader bars while laying down is actually a low-risk type of bondage activity - assuming you're using a pre-made set that's been designed for sex. (Some DIY versions out there might not carry the same safety seal of approval). Learning those few important things will save you some valuable time and money: Is It fixed size or expandable? A door is a good way to punish your sub, keeping them exactly where you want them until you’re ready to have some fun with them. You don’t need to use an actual door, either, though you do need some sort of anchor point above the sub to maintain the prone position. A ceiling hook or beam or a closet rod will work, though they don’t offer the same leaning point that a door has, so your sub will need to maintain their balance on their own. Wondering how to use a spreader bar with your partner? You’re not alone. Introducing sex toys into the bedroom can be daunting if you’ve never broached the subject before, but it isn’t impossible. Whether you get a “yes”, “maybe” or an absolute “no” from your partner can come largely down to your delivery, as well as whether or not they’re interested in trying the toy you’re suggesting (obviously). Regardless of your delivery, you must always remember that what is a turn-on for you may actually be a total no-go for your partner, and you have to be respectful of that.It’s covered in sleek faux leather, offset by bronze-colored rings and clips. Of all the spreader bars I’ve reviewed, I’d say this one pays the most attention to aesthetic detail.

Generally speaking, they are made of a solid rod that is usually carbon fiber, metal, or wood and are covered with a softer material such as PU leather, nylon or leather if the rod is abrasive to the skin. Metal spreader bars are the most popular due to their durability. Some of them are a fixed length while others are adjustable and can range in length between 12 inches to 36 inches. On each end are ankle cuffs so that you can attach them to your submissive's ankles and keep their legs from closing during intense orgasms. The cuffs are sometimes built into the bar. When they're not, you can customize and use your own. Most cuffs are made of Velcro, PU leather, or leather. They're fairly straightforward. Attach the ankle cuffs to either end of the bar (some bars come with cheap velcro cuffs included) and strap in your sub's ankles. That's it and you're ready to play. There’s something undeniably arousing about being tied up or tying a partner up in the bedroom. Not only does it change the power structure, facilitating elements of domination and submission, but it also evokes powerful emotions. There’s an immense amount of vulnerability and trust required when sexually bound. These reasons (among others) help to explain why so many people fantasize about BDSM (remember, the B stands for “bondage”). In fact, a 93% of men and 96% of women have fantasized about some aspect of BDSM before.

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By approaching the subject this way you’re making it clear that the idea is up for discussion, that you value your partner’s opinion. Alternatively, you could suggest watching Fifty Shades Darkertogether, and seeing how your partner reacts to the spreader bar scene (FYI: it’s hottt). This could work to pique your partner’s sexual curiosity, and give you a few ideas for if you get the go-ahead to try it out for yourselves. For this position, you need a spreader bar with both ankle and wrist cuffs attached. Have your sub stand with their feet spread apart wide enough to fit the spreader bar between them. Make sure they are sturdy and comfortable with this width before attaching the spreader bar. An adjustable spreader bar also allows you to alter the width if needed for the most comfortable standing stance. While plenty of the kink community is grateful to books and movies for the 50 Shades Effect of bringing bondage and power play into the public arena, there's a lot about the books and movies that should never be recreated or believed. (Like the idea that Christian is kinky because he was abused--something that even Psychology Today waded into to point out that people who are into BDSM are no more likely to have a history of abuse than anyone else.) inch spreader bar—if you want to be your partner to be more exposed and uncomfortable go for 30″+. If the receiving partner is shorter 30″ will be great.

Two, Three, or Four-point restraints. All bars have tie-down points on the far ends of the bar but some designs have one or two additional points for connection closer to the center of the bar for attaching wrist cuffs. So, whether you use spreader bars for the wrists, ankles, or both, you’ll have 19 creative ideas to make the best of this popular, kink-equipment.Therefore, once the play ends, either by choice or by someone using a safe word, it’s critical that you take time to rest, relax and decompress. That is where after care come into play. When trying out the best spreader bar positions, there are specific safety issues that you must follow. That’s because spreader bars come with their own set of dangers that you must be aware of. That means, if you’re the Dom in the scene, be careful how you move your sub. Be aware of the limitations of their limbs, and the way they would naturally move. Never try to pull, push, or twist their limbs suddenly or in the wrong direction. The whole bondage community is giving you the side-eye here, Jamie. Why Are There So Many Construction-Type Results in My Google Search?