What’s a chocolate milk’s favorite type of music? Smooth Jazz, it loves all the smooth and creamy notes. He fingers me, rubbing my clit, turning me into a squirming little mess. I’m glad to have found such a wonderful, lewd partner so early in my life. I’d never expected said partner to be my father, but who cares? Nobody else knows. I’d also never expected to have children so early on, but that’s great, too. I’ll get to see them grow up, but still be fairly young myself! I’ll be able to keep up with them for ages, too. Maybe they’ll want an older guy to breed them, too… I can’t imagine being a grandma! As in date? They had to be kidding. Not only was I a 29-year-old single mom with dishes in the sink and baby clothes with stains I'd never actually scrub out, but I breastfed "on demand." How in the world could I even think about hooking up with some hot man when my cha-chas were making milk?

At nineteen I didn’t realize that life could be so demanding. I have so many men that are after me. There’s just one problem. They don’t know what I’m going through, they don’t know the pain that runs through my body. My stepfather Kyle looks at me strangely as I walk through the house as if I’m on pins and needles. I don’t care too much for him, but I guess going to someone I know is better than going to no one at all with my big problem. My problem is too much milk!"

Share

The milk was playing hide and seek, but I found it hiding in the fridge, it couldn’t handle the suspense.

A man walks into a library and asks for a pint of milk. The librarian says “this is a library”. The man whispers “sorry, a pint of milk please”. Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about milk that are also awesome milk jokes for adults and kids to be told!

What do you get when two people boil tea leaves in milk together and put it into the freezer? Solid-dairy-tea. One astronaut says to another. I can’t find any milk for my coffee. The other astronaut replies “In space no one can. Here, use cream”.

But the truth was, if any possible romantic date of mine was squeamish about the fact that I was breastfeeding, I did need to know this up front. I mean, if I hadn't said anything, and then all of a sudden he looked down and noticed the wet spots on my blouse, that would have been interesting. Here is our top list of milk dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about milk, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this milk humor with others. Afterwards, when I told a couple of friends what had happened, they scrunched their noses up. "You let him do what?”As our frothy journey through milk humor comes to an end, we hope you’ve enjoyed this utterly entertaining collection of milk jokes. The world’s most explicit erotica writer Layla Marie proudly presents "Give Daddy Milk" – Incredibly hot erotica short stories! Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!

Fiction Writing | Blog Writing | Creative Writing | Essay Writing | Letter Writing | Poetry Writing | Technical Writing | Story WritingDid you hear what happened to the farm that had a mad cow disease outbreak? It resulted in udder chaos! Same, baby girl. I can’t wait, either. I wonder if it’ll be a boy… or if I’ll have four daughters, now?’ I couldn't remember if I'd slept with M.'s father in the weeks before he'd left for good. If I had, I didn't remember the details. He was shut down and hungover; I was absorbed with my baby. I lived in the world of womanhood for years, and now I was a mother. But who says that you can't live in both worlds? Some mothers I knew wore bras to bed because they didn't want to leak on the mattress -- or their husbands. That's how they divided their realms. But I wanted to be a woman who lived in both worlds; I wanted to be the kind of woman who didn't care if she spurted. After all, laughter is a universal language, much like the universal love for a refreshing glass of milk. Little did my mother-friend know that the blind date she wanted to set me up with might have had a breastfeeding fetish. She told me that he was a lawyer, too, "a cute one." After chatting on the phone with the lawyer -- his call woke me as I fell asleep while nursing M. in the bed we share -- I decided to go for it. I've always considered myself to be open-minded about anything intimate. Maybe I was rebelling against my Catholic mother, but I certainly was not a prude. I decided that I'd keep the date short and sweet -- and I'd nurse before leaving so (I hoped) I wouldn't leak.