PDF is the most common eBook file format and it gives you lots of options to customize the reading experience. You can set the PDF file size, color, or highlight the important text. On the other hand, ePub is also an impressive eBook reader that has its own benefits and advantages. Apart, from this, we also upload eBooks in Mobi or djvu formats. These are also popular eBook formats and many users like them. You can request us if you need a book in specific eBook formats. Details about Daring To Take Up Space by Daniell Koepke Taking up space means occupying physical or psychological territory assertively and confidently. You can do a few things to start taking up more space in your life. This feeling that you are only loved for your utility may also cause social anxiety. If you do not believe you can be loved only for who you are, you would feel you must always be doing something not to be rejected and abandoned by the world. This can mean you find it challenging to sit in silence. You would not know how to be helpful when there is no structure or direction. You feel lost and are confronted with the deep emptiness within you. You may describe it as “awkward” or “uncomfortable” when in reality, you might be faced with deeprooted shame feelings from your past— the shame of not being able to do anything useful for your parents, the shame of not being able to save your parents from the abusive partner or the alcoholic spouse, etc. There was no reason to be ashamed; of course, it was never your job to save your parents from their dysfunctions and unhappy lives, but as a child, you assumed those were your responsibilities. It was your way of loving them. Since there was no one to comfort your young soul and let you know it was not your fault, you have internalized the feeling that no matter how much you do, you aren’t good enough. People unable to take up space often experience heightened social anxiety because they find unstructured situations intimidating. When there is no clear objective or rules to a situation, they would not know what to say or do, and if they do not know how to please the other person, they would feel lost. Do you find it hard to engage in any self-promotion, even in situations where it is appropriate, like a job interview?

Even if it sounds trite, you may want to remind yourself daily, while looking in the mirror, that you are valuable and loved simply because you exist – not because of things you do or produce. Daniell Koepke is the author behind the Internal Acceptance Movement (I. A.M.). In her first poetry collection, Daniell gives voice to the fear and anxiety, as well as the perseverance and strength, that has been fundamental to her own personal growth journey and the path to deeper and more meaningful self-love and acceptance. In her own words, this book is for 20the 17-year-old Daniell who was convinced she was worthless who was convin Many people who have not known how to take up space for years feel empty and lost in their identity. You may think you need to know who you are and feel secure before expressing yourself or socialising. However, if you wait until you are ready, you may never be. The world at large has this attitude, “What makes you so special that you think you deserve an extraordinary life?” When interacting with others, practise simply relaxing in their presence. Try to experiment with not doing anything, saying anything, or impressing anyone. You are not asked to advise, be useful, or advise anyone. Even when others are expressing distress, you can practice ‘just’ listening and offering your quiet presence. This will help you gradually realize that your mere existence is sufficient and that ”doing” has its limits.

Do You Take Up Space?

If you were parentified by vulnerable and needy parents, you might internalize the unconscious belief that you are loved not for who you are but for what you can do for others. This can bring a lifelong struggle for unconditional love and acceptance of yourself. When a parent is emotionally volatile, they naturally take up all the emotional space at home. On the outside, they may be charming and sociable, but their colourful personality and exciting life come at a cost for their children. They constantly have some kind of big ups or downs, drama or intense conflicts that demands attention, leaving no room for a child to express their needs.

Do you not notice it when stress accumulates in your system until you become completely burned out? Another type of wound that can cause someone to lose the ability to take up space is ‘ gifted trauma’. This happens a lot to exceptionally intelligent, intuitive and intense children. These children often possess wisdom beyond their years and naturally shine with their creativity, perceptiveness, and deep empathy. They usually do not recognize this, but they stand out among their peers. However, others often perceive them as a threat, leading to jealousy and resentment.Feeling accepted and valued for simply being ourselves can be a profound experience because it allows us to connect with others deeply. Thinking we are only loved for what we can do for others, however, frequently requires us to perform or please others. Do you feel haunted by the need to be ‘productive’ at all times and feel terrible when you cannot work for any reason? As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”. Charlie Chaplin Personally, I think the passion for an extraordinary life, and the courage to pursue it, is what makes us special. And I don’t even think of it as an “extraordinary life” anymore so much as simple happiness. It’s rarer than it should be, and I believe it comes from creating a life that fits you perfectly, not taking what’s already there, but making your own from scratch.

Are you afraid of silence? Do you fill your life with work, social engagement and activities so you will never have space?I so clearly remember what it was like, being young and always in the grip of some big fat daydream. I wanted to be a writer always, but more than that, I wanted to have an extraordinary life. I’m sure I dreamed it a million different ways, and that plenty of them were ridiculous, but I think the daydreams were training for writing, and I also think they spurred me to pursue my dreams for real. Do you feel like you are being selfish or narcissistic when discussing your difficulties or problems? Trusting that you are being loved for who you are entails having faith that others will love and value your inner qualities, such as your personality, character, and what comes from your heart. In contrast, to be loved for what you do is to feel or believe that others want you around solely because of what you do or have accomplished, your social standing, and what you can do for them. Children who have not been traumatized by a narcissistic parent or abusive sibling innately know how to take up space without fear and shame. Most children innately know how to claim their birthright to their physical and emotional freedom. They cry when they want to and laugh when they want to. Classic attachment research in psychology has famously shown that when a securely attached child enters a room, they are not afraid to go around and explore. They are happy to have a space where they can be spontaneous and playful, and they will explore new territory without fear of reprisal or shame. The story is different, however, for those who have been wounded in their upbringing. People with narcissistic parents are afraid to take up space because they have learned that it is not safe to do so. They may have been constantly criticized by their parents or made to feel small, which has caused them to doubt themselves and their worth. As a result, they often think they have to apologize for their existence and be quiet to avoid attention or criticism.

I want to talk about creating your life. There’s a quote I love, from the poet Mary Oliver, that goes: There is a lot of research that suggests that the way we hold our bodies can have an impact on our minds. For example, adopting a posture of confidence can make you feel more confident, while keeping yourself in a shrinking posture can make you feel insecure. One way to take up space physically is to focus on your posture, on lengthening your spine and broadening your shoulders. That is how taking up space in a healthy way looks like. You may also observe how leaders, public speakers and confident people compose themselves. Becoming more aware of your body and learning to express yourself can help you feel more powerful and in control. When you take up space, you communicate that you have a place in the world and that your voice deserves to be heard.

take up space

To learn to take up space, you must recognize your intrinsic value as a human being, regardless of what you can do or accomplish. Once you have a solid foundation and know you are inherently worthy, you can also accept love from others. Taking up space is a birthright and something we innately know how to do, but not everyone feels able to do it. When we take up space in the world, we occupy a physical and psychological territory. Our bodies fill the area, and our presence is felt. For some people, taking up space can be a challenge. They may think they are not worthy of the space they take up or need to minimize their presence.