he told the girlfriend that he was drunk and remembers nothing so she can believe the lie too. he told you that as well as an indirect way of saying "whatever happened, dont bring it up again and it did not happen". When that phone call ended, my mind started racing with more and more questions. It’s been almost a week now, and there’s not a day that has gone by in which I haven’t thought about that night and all the unanswered questions. That’s why I’m posting this thread here. I think cheating is wrong. I also believe that people make mistakes and can learn from those mistakes. It seems probable that your girlfriend will not find out about this incident unless you specifically tell her. Assuming that you've learned your lesson and are genuinely contrite, I stand by my earlier statement that I don't how telling your girlfriend can make the situation any better. my advice is just to pretend like it didn't happen. obviously he is doing that, so just follow his lead and erase it from your memory banks. bringing it up is only going to cause drama.

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I'm a straight guy and have never had any form of sexual experience with a guy until a couple of months ago. I know that this might sound harsh, maybe even too harsh. But really, I know exactly what you're feeling. I don't know many gay men (myself included) who hasn't developed a crush or had feelings for a straight guy - including straight friends. It happens all too frequently, but there is just one important thing to remember...

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I find it hard to believe his story. He might not remember everything, hell, he might only remember bits and pieces, but his concern is likely whether or not you remember anything. My advice to you is to lie like a dog and tell him you remember nothing. Otherwise, you're putting your friendship in danger. If the ideal doesn't happen, and you have to have a serious talk with him.. ugh. Definitely, definitely, don't take all the blame (or any of the blame - it's better if he accepts it all on himself, otherwise he might blame you completely to avoid feeling like his sexuality has been questioned). This is definitely a situation that is more traumatic for him than for you, and has far greater complications.

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I wouldn't beat yourself up about it. Why? Well, you were insanely drunk and so was he. Hopefully, you wouldn't have done anything with him were you sober, but since your inhibitions were lowered... Plus, he has an equal amount of responsibility in what happened. He might have been drunk as well, but it isn't like you told him to pull down his pants, and it wasn't like he was saying no - after all, he wanted to go even further than you let him. Your friend probably remembers at least some part of what happened that night. He may be having some of the same thoughts and feelings that you are currently having. He may be pretending not to remember anything because he thinks that would be the easiest way for you to handle the situation. Here's a brief follow-up to my story, including a mistake I made in the way I handled the situation. Do you think she’s going to be understanding enough to hear your story and realize that it was just something that occurred as a result of you being wasted and doubling-up on Klonopin? I’m not sure that most women would be that understanding. We stayed in the Deluxe Barn Suite, which is great for two couples. We were only two persons, but loved the extra space and kitchenette.We've had our fair share of professional massages through the years and believe me, his puts most therapists to shame. I returned to my friend's house last night. This was the first time I'd seen him since the incident last week. I had been mentally preparing myself for a few days leading up to this visit, trying to put that incident out of my mind and act like this was just any other visit. That's easier said than done. Things get more complicated if you notice that he starts pulling away from you. If he stops answering your texts, doesn't really start returning your calls, doesn't drink when you're around, then he is pulling away. This should become rather clear in the next couple of weeks or so. We ended up talking on the phone again about a week later when I asked if some friends could come over and watch football. During this conversation Jeff brought up the sexual encounter again and stressed how important it was that his girlfriend not find out about it. I told him that I had no intention of telling his girlfriend. In the days that followed that first incident, I worried about our friendship turning awkward. If you’ve ever gotten with a guy who identifies as straight, you know what I mean. Things can turn south real fast.