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Fast forward a few years, and a few sexually un-fulfilling relationships, to Charles, the first guy who made me feel like there wasn’t anything wrong or un-feminist about wanting to be spanked. I’d known Charles for years, so he knew about my feminist activism and the writing I do about women’s issues. Once Charles learned about my dom/sub fetish, he knew—and respected—how conflicted I felt. Charles wanted to spank a woman as badly as I wanted to be spanked, and that was what mattered to him. Plus, he’d struggled with apathetic partners, as I had, and he owned a paddle! Alas, Charles also had a girlfriend. No, I kept telling her: I wasn’t hit as a kid, I was never abused by my parents, I’ve never dated an abusive man, and I’d never hit my own kids. But week after week, she’d ask me these same questions, and I’d have to tell her, nope, I still don’t hate myself, and I still wasn’t abused as a kid. You could fill it out together, comparing answers as you go, or fill it out separately then compare your answers. The secret is in the reason. There must be one. Simple or complex, it doesn't matter. But you must feel guilty, and the more guilty the better. When he sees how much you need to be punished, he'll deliver. You are my wife. I love you, I love you way too much to allow you to disregard our agreement on the best way for you to improve your health and put yourself in jeopardy. I care enough about you to put some boundaries and guidelines around you to keep you safe. And yes I will wear you out if necessary to show you just how serious I am about my love for you.”The tawse was the worst as it was delivered with the same force as the cane but only seemed to cause lingering pain in one place. This was a similar feeling to having fallen very heavily onto a garden gnome wearing a cone shaped hat. It maybe that only one corner of the tawse is ‘making an impression’ and that is what is producing a weird slightly ‘unpunished’ feeling as, apart from the one small area on my right bottom cheek, the rest of my bottom was pain free. I love corporal punishment, discipline, spankings and role plays. I can be your mother figure, your Auntie, your neighbour, your boss, your teacher, your prison guard or anyone else in a position of authority over you. I can spank and discipline you for your wrongdoings in your past and re-enact childhood events in which you were bad and should have been punished at the time.I can role play any scenario you wish to explore, within reason of course. I consider it a privilege to be let in on your secret fantasies that possibly up until now, you have not been able to share with anyone. Our first Underground Spanking dinner party. Organized by a bubbly redhead known as Chef Steel, these parties feature three-course meals paired with wine, served on china and crystal by respectful staff who glide about ensuring the guests' needs are attended to. I just returned from Blogher. This annual writing conference ,focusing on women's contribution to the web, took place in San Francisco. I had a blast. I adored the panels, networking and the free corporate swag, but the highlight of the trip was hanging out with the girls. Nearly half (46%) said they felt turned on by role-playing. “I get very aroused serving another’s needs.” “I have powerful fantasies of seeing myself as the devoted slave of a powerful owner.” “I trust my dom to hurt me but never cause real harm. With the deep trust we share, we can experiment with all kinds of consensual non-consent.”

By day, I was a women’s studies minor, wrote a weekly feminist column for the student newspaper, and was president of the National Organization of Women on campus. By night, I really, really, really just wanted to be spanked. Answer: I’m usually well behaved for a month or two after a good domestic discipline session. There are three kinds of spankings she normally gives: Impromptu swats for spur of the moment infractions (usually just a handful of swats), Attitude adjustments (these are more dedicated spankings where I’ve earned swats for doing or not doing something but haven’t quite earned a trip to the woodshed), and then of course “ Woodshed Whuppin’s” (these are the worst of the worst and happen about every 1 and a half to 2 months). She was right, abuse had nothing to do with the fun that my wife and I watched. All we saw was openness and acceptance, a group in which a professional woman can go over the knee of a handsome man (and vice versa, actually) and everyone is happy for both of them. As for whether it will come out of the closet, time will tell. In the meantime, if you hear a clapping sound and a few squeals and giggles emanating from the neighbor's place, there's a decent chance they're not watching sports.

Answer: Not at all. Again, this is consensual. I could tell her I don’t want to do it anymore but I have come to understand and appreciate its value…to me, to her, and to our relationship. There is so much trust and communication that is necessary when doing this kind of thing, that it has actually taken our love, trust, and intimacy to new levels. My wife wrote a great post about the benefits of having a spanking relationship with your husband, that highlights some great points regarding its ability to help eliminate tension between a couple.