Bet Beattie dievą įtraukia kaip būtiną pagalbos sau žingsnį, nuolat kalba apie atsidavimą Aukštesniajai Jėgai, nors ir pabrėžia, kad tą dievą galima bet kaip suprasti. I was thinking of "co-dependency" in a more generic sense — say, the way a married couple can be enmeshed and lose their boundaries with each other. She is the best-selling author of numerous books, including Codependent No More, Beyond Codependency, The Language of Letting Go, More Language of Letting Go, and 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact. Melody Beattie’s compassionate and insightful look into codependency – the concept of losing oneself in the name of helping another – has helped millions of readers understand that they are powerless to change anyone but themselves and that caring for the self is where healing begins. It might put some people off that it is based on the Al-Anon principles of 12 steps but if you can substitute the word of the problem that you are involved with in place of the word alcohol then it will become enlightening for you.

Codependency has a very wide definition, but the best way that I understand it after reading this book is that codependent people let the negative behaviors of those around them affect their own feelings and behaviors in a negative way. I read this slowly, over a few months, digesting each new piece and practicing applying everything in my day-to-day life. Beattie understands being overboard, which helps her throw bestselling lifelines to those still adrift,” said Time Magazine. To calculate the overall star rating and percentage breakdown by star, we don’t use a simple average.

Lastly, when the problem gets worse and worse, the codependent becomes angry, bitter and dejected as a result of their failed attempts to gain some level of control over a situation that was already impossibly difficult to deal with. But I was assured by the person who handed me this book, by looking at their happiness and personality, that the end must be better.

She married a former alcoholic who was also a prominent and respected counselor and had two children with him. Nors teoriškai skirtas kopriklausomybės problemai (kondicija, būdinga priklausomybę turinčiųjų artimiesiems ir ypač su jais bendraujančiais on a daily basis), bet pati Beattie rašydama išplečia savo auditoriją ir sako, kad tam, jog būtum kopriklausomas, tavo artimasis nebūtinai turi sirgt alkoholizmu ar narkomanija - ji ar jis gali būti nervingas, pernelyg kontroliuojantis arba kaip visiškai apleidęs ir nesirūpinantis tėvas / mama. In time, you’ll learn to better cope with your problems, trust yourself, and actually begin to feel your own feelings instead of someone else’s. So she reminds us, over and over, that the path to recovery, sanity, and happiness starts with minding our own business and taking care of ourselves.Many of us can quickly tell what someone else is feeling, why that person is feeling that way, how long they've felt that way, and what that person is probably going to do beccause of that feeling. I'm also keen to read Leslie Irvine's Codependent Forevermore, which is an even-handed critique of CoDA and the recovery moment in general. I never realized the extent to which my relationship warped me, to some level my fault for allowing it to happen, but the book also presented a lot of ways to come to an understanding of what it means to be a codependent and also ways to combat and correct behavior. The bottom-line is most people can probably benefit from this book, and you (thankfully) don't have to be an addict or the spouse of an addict to find meaning in it.