I want you to understand that I’m here for you” works well whether you know someone well or not. We can use it with friends, family, colleagues, or superiors alike. There are no issues with this one, as we just want someone to know that we care enough to help them. The sky was streaked with oranges and pinks and purples. The reflection of those colors into the turquoise lake caused a surreal tie-dye effect that amplified the sunset. You could hardly tell where the sky ended and the water began. Everything was glowing.

Every one of us has been damaged by others, has damaged others, and has damaged ourselves by unwise words and unhealthy actions. As a result, we all have hurts, hang-ups, and bad habits. So where do we go to get help? In her newest book, Are You Really OK?, Debra is your personal counselor and life coach who shares openly about her journey toward health and makes clear next steps for you to take toward personal healing.”

What Can I Ask Instead Of “Are You Okay”?

While there are statistics (and some confronting ones at that) and information about potential advances in the future for treating specific mental illnesses, where this book shines is the human element. Stacey interviewed young people living with diagnosed mental illnesses and gave them the opportunity to tell their stories. While she never claims to be an expert herself, Stacey spoke with professionals who treat mental illnesses, some of whom have lived experience. Stacey Dooley's voice was really strong throughout - she writes exactly the way she speaks! It was nice that her narrative voice is so strong and you can tell she has a real passion for the subject matter. I liked the way the book was structured, chapters were separated by the type of mental health condition and was very easy to read If you know you are struggling, or others suggest that might be the case, then let yourself have a good hearing and consider talking to a professional counsellor. This might be the difference between getting through the pandemic with your health and relationships intact, or unnecessarily diminished. Getting help from someone trained to assist will also take pressure off other relationships, leaving them for valuable downtime and fun. The insights you are able to get when people feel safe enough to speak candidly about their lives are always going to resonate more than facts and statistics that remove individual people from the narrative. Although I know people with many of the diagnoses covered in this book and have lived experience of others, I learned a lot. I was invested in the stories of the people who shared their story and expect to continue to wonder how they’re doing, particularly Kyle, whose experience with depression was just heart wrenching.

We tend to assume we’re okay—until we’re not. Getting healthy is an ongoing process that requires you to stop, dig deep, and ask yourself the hard questions. Hope and understanding, comes in conversations with groups of mates, who like Roman, find themselves trying to come to terms with missing a friend and the endless questions around what happened, and why. I love all of Stacey Dooley's documentaries so I naturally had to read this book. I do have her first book on my kindle which I haven't read yet. This one was excellent. What’s on your mind” is another thought-provoking question. It doesn’t come with a simple answer, and it often requires people to think deeply about what is wrong (if anything) and how they want to approach the problem. This book was a combination of self help and autobiography. Overall I liked Roman's gentle, humble, friendly and honest approach. He doesn't sugar coat and he is pretty explicit about his struggles. I only wish he was a little bolder about his opinions - at some points it feels like he is apologising for himself or preempting people saying negative things, which I don't think he needs to do. At times it felt like he was searching for things to say, for example coming up with a fantasy football league and going into the credentials of various players. But his story was reasonably interesting and of course, as an educational tool the book achieved its purpose in warning and teaching about suicide and the importance of mental health. There were quite a few errors in the writing, I'm not sure if this is an editing or a writing issue?Are You Really Okay? sets a new standard for how mental health is handled in the church. Debra gives such practical steps not just to heal but thrive! I'm so thankful for her work and getting this message out. It's a must read." When we ask a friend or family member, “are you okay,” we want them to know we mean it. We want them to understand that we care about them, and we want to help. That’s why this article will show you better alternatives to use in place of it. What Can I Ask Instead Of “Are You Okay”? The worst sections of the book could be considered insulting to those of us who've suffered with mental ill health. In the section on money, Roman readily admits he could come across as a "privileged arsehole". He then goes on to prove himself right by stating in the section on the royal family "the Royals endure all of the same human hardships the rest of us do". I've never met a Royal (Rowan has) and I don't have any reason to doubt that it is his honest opinion that they're good people, but to make the aforementioned statement, it's just objectively not true. This is the point at which I gave up on the book because he is clearly not thinking in much depth about how this might land with ordinary folk. Even in the case of loss which Roman discusses in this section it does not have as great an impact on those in positions of wealth and power such as the royals for the simple reason of them having functionally unlimited funds with which to procure themselves the best psychological support there is. As well as hearing about their experiences directly, Stacey speaks to medical experts, counsellors, campaigners and health practitioners who can give detailed insights into the conditions profiled and explore the environmental factors that play a part - including poverty, addiction, identity, pressures of social media and the impact of Covid-19. Read more Details Sometimes, even a simpler question is all we need. As long as it provokes a reasonable response from our loved ones, we can use something like “how are you feeling?”

Let’s start with the preferred option and what makes it so useful. Of course, if you don’t actually “love” the person you’re asking “are you okay” to, then this might not be for you.

I Want You To Understand That I’m Here For You

We may not always be able to do much to help them with whatever they’re feeling. Still, it’s a nice thing to tell someone to let them know they do not have to suffer alone. Once they answer this question, we will know how to help them more ourselves. That way, we can be more familiar with their problems and hopefully find a more relatable way to assist. In Are You Really OK?, author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically, so you can recognize where you need growth and healing. You’ll learn to:

I want you to know that I love you, and I’ll do anything you need from me to help you get through this. This phrase works well when we aren’t all that familiar with a person. It’s great to show them that we are there. Sometimes, that’s all that people need.Is there anything I can do to help” works when we want to ask whether we can be of assistance. It doesn’t pry into their personal issues, which is great if they’re not comfortable sharing them with us. Still, we can always be of service to someone. As the saying goes, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” Simply put, keep doing what you’ve always done and you’ll keep getting what you’ve always got. The tension you are feeling is telling you that you have reached the end of your line. TW: This article focuses in some depth on the subject of suicide, so please be advised if you think this might be triggering for you. I've been fortunate enough to meet many remarkable people over the last decade of making documentaries - sometimes in incredibly hostile environments, where they've been really up against it - and I've seen the devastating effect that poverty, trauma, violence, abuse, stigma, stress, prejudice and discrimination can have on people's mental health. It has always been the common thread. Roman is so open and honest in this, even about stuff you wouldn’t necessarily talk to anyone about, and now he’s told thousands of people. It’s very refreshing to read.