Men are nervous about this, too!” Says Katherine. “Inflicting pain on a woman, even erotic pain, is a little daunting!” She thinks many a man is OK with the act of spanking his lady but he may not be OK with the part of himself that likes it — he might be wondering if there’s something angry, violent, or wrong with him. The most underutilized option for spankings, imo, is leggings. They are just about as thin as underwear, and allow for a large transfer of energy, but also give you the perfect view of your target. Additionally, wearing a thong under leggings is insanely helpful because it doesn't add extra protection. This is a great way to protect your submissive's dignity but also give an even, hard, un-obstructed spanking with hand or implement. What awaits inside is nothing short of an Alice in Wonderland cornucopia of erotica: veiled silk gowns and leather web body harnesses hanging alongside vibrating eggs and orgasm-inducing balms. If you sense your guy is worried, keep spanking lighthearted: play up the sexiest, most playful parts of a spanking, suggests Katherine, such as the butt being “an erogenous zone prominently displayed,” and the fact spanking entails “a lot of squirming and panting!” You or your partner can even role play or dress up in costumes (bad maid, bad student, bad what-have-you). Feeling embarrassed to the point where you just don't feel like you can talk to your boyfriend about this at all probably means spanking isn't quite something you're ready to explore in real life. That would be okay, too. It'll always be there for you later when you're feeling more comfortable talking about it. But if even talking about something feels daunting, that's usually a very solid clue we're probably not ready to do that something.

Personally, I always pull skirts up for a spanking and don't ever bother with them. So if you see a skirt, either bypass it like the German 7th Panzer division going through France, or if you aren't allowed to, just try and find new, creative ways to make skirt spanking work! The modern bachelor is a multi-skilled marvel. A mowing God in the garden, a pancake-tossing technician in the kitchen and a pro-player of hide the sausage in the bedroom. Spanking is appealing to everyone for different reasons. “Some people like the punishment, role-playing thing, some people just like the spanking part of it. For some people, it’s more innocent,” says Rachel Kramer Bussel, editor of Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica, who wrote passionately about her love of a good spanking on her former Village Voice sex column.The point of this anecdote is that, especially if your submissive is looking more for the sexual pleasure and sensation of a spanking, you don't need to pull anything down if they aren't comfortable with it. But as long as you are aware of the risks, and have a consenting partner who also wants to try this with you, there is nothing wrong with wanting what it is you want from sex. In sex, too, as in the rest of life, not everything we think will be fun ends up being so once we do it. If you take your sub's clothing off completely, I recommend making them fold it for an added bit of decorum!

Once you both feel more comfortable you can become more adventurous: tying your partner to the bed face down or leaning them over a chair are also good positions. If your submissive has a hard limit of being spanked on underwear/bare, and they happen to be wearing a skirt, it can be difficult to give a hard spanking given that the fabric can be moving all over the place. If we are talking about a tight fitting jean skirt or the like, then it really doesn't change from the section on jeans and pants. The layer cake method implies that you start on a layer of clothing and slowly go down to bare. You might start over pants, go to panties, and then to bare finally. Human sexual behavior and desire are way more diverse than most people give them credit for. One person's "Oh,gosh no," can be another person's "Oh, hell yes,"and that is completely fine. So, if those nerves and embarrassment you're feeling are in any way related to thinking that what you want is "bad," I want to say two things to you:Those feelings are understandable, particularly given some of the messages you may have received about this. Hard limits- things you are not comfortable with and refuse to partake in. There is no consent given for hard limits. If my sub tells me she refuses to be caned and it is a hard limit, then I will not cane her. If my sub refuses to let me spank her on the bare and thats a hard limit, I do not spank her on the bare! Before you start to explore spanking, safety words must be established – clear, one-word instructions given from the spankee to the spanker. England divides these words into: Don't take too long with a baring, but you can make it ceremonious to drag it out a bit for more of a psychological effect on your spankee.

It’s not often that thanks to Victorian-era erotica, a 15-year-old girl experiences a sexual epiphany. But that’s exactly what happened to Katherine* during her sophomore year of high school. We will be going over some implements later in this guide, so for right now just assume that initial string of recommended implements is what I recommend for a basic spanking. Let's pause here to discuss the possibility that he may feel uncomfortable just talking about spanking. Not the most comforting thought, but you can still prepare for that outcome. Ask if they have ever thought about spanking,’ England says. ‘Have they spanked or been spanked? Just bringing up the topic may be a big turn on to your partner.’ This is going to be my fourth post for A Guide to Basic Spanking Techniques where we will cover Hard limits, soft limits, and clothing/layers/baring

It is IMPERATIVE you discuss these limits within your dynamic, otherwise you can end up like one of my worst ddlg relationships ever where shit just happens without the other partner ever really consenting to it. I usually do one layer at a time, but I've also only spanked females. I find it helps to make sure the panties are sitting correctly before going up with jeans and the like. You might be wondering why I waited a while to discuss hard and soft limits, but I felt it was appropriate to discuss them up against baring and clothing, since this is really where hard and soft limits are going to apply much more closely. The posterior is full of its own nerves, and the bum is also located near the body’s sensory hot spots — a man’s scrotum and a woman’s vulva. A kinky maneuver like spanking is a great way to send ripples through the skin and stimulate that entire area, Fulbright says.