The study further confirms that the risk of mortality for poor social relationships is comparable to risk factors like smoking and alcohol consumption, writes Niobe Way, author of Deep Secrets and professor of applied psychology at New York University. “This point underscores the fact that friendships are not simply a feel-good issue—they are a life-or-death issue.” spoiler alert ** I received a complimentary e-copy of this book on NetGalley in exchange for my review.

The Man Box robs our sons of a lifetime of opportunities to develop their emotional capacities. Instead, they grow into emotionally isolated men who wall themselves off from the social connectivity central to healing and creating community. The resulting health effects are undeniable.But then this is her recurring problem: she is good on theories, lamentable on proof. Donor-insemination clinics, for instance, are said to contribute to men's sense of domestic redundancy. Yet how often do single women actually use donated sperm? Hymowitz doesn't say. It is reported that modern women let men know that they "want chocolates on Valentine's Day or, better yet, a weekend in Paris". But do they? That is the cliche; we are just expected to accept it unexamined.

One key reason: what Elliott-McCrea called “the myth of the apolitical engineer.” That’s the tendency among some software engineers to insist upon a “hyper-rational” approach to their work — “letting the work speak for itself” and scoffing at what they perceive to be office politics, which might include managing up. As Abbajay sees it, managing up is a three-step process: getting a sense of your boss’s work style and concerns, getting a sense of the same for yourself, and either making reasonable adjustment requests of your boss or realigning your own style to get better in sync. Each step, Abbajay stressed, should be done without casting judgment.Lead with Your Heart: Have the courage to show how much you care—about your family and friends but also whatever you’re passionate about.

That said, remember that not every less-than-perfectly handled moment is evidence that a manager is out of depth. As work advice columnist Alison Green wrote in a Slate article about managing up, “Don’t forget your boss is human: There may be times when she is grouchy, frustrated or frazzled, or times when she would appreciate hearing that she handled something well.”When I was growing up, “man up” was used to enforce my behavior, especially when I expressed emotion, appeared weak or needed help. As an adult, I continue to watch men around me use the phrase to promote senseless violence, homophobia, sexual conquest, and the most destructive of male behaviors—excessive drinking, drug use, and high stakes risk-taking. Managing up is the conscious attempt to build a productive working relationship with one’s manager by creating common ground in terms of working preferences and priorities. This involves having conversations about each party’s communication styles, meeting preferences, and short- and long-term goals. It also includes communicating successes and initiating moments of constructive conflict on occasion.

What’s your take on what you just read? Comment below or write a response and submit to us your own point of view or reaction here at the red box, below, which links to our submissions portal. Embrace Fear: Many of the most profound breakthroughs can happen when we face fear head-on and stop running. Get an Environmentally-Friendly Car (or Bike!): Break a heavy-handed male stereotype, respect planet Earth, and save money on gas. In knowledge work, because you’re delivering constantly, nothing you do ever really feels like it’s worth celebrating because you’re always on to the next thing,” said Hays. Part of managing up, therefore, means pausing to consider the impact of your work and making a habit of copying and pasting received praise into the brag document. Trauma and the Man Box are mutually reinforcing. If, as men, we do not share our feelings, we will accrue decades of painful hidden stories, some of which will play over and over, triggering depression, fear, and unresolved anger toward ourselves and those we love.It absolutely is a prevailing sentiment among software engineers that politics is beneath them,” he said.