Think about the anguish, stress, and resentment that saying yes has caused you. Wouldn’t it be so much easier and straightforward to just say no in the first place? My intention has and always will be to help people overcome the emotional baggage that creates these patterns so that we enjoy more love, care, trust and respect and break these generational patterns. Full Book Name: The Joy of Saying No: A Simple Plan to Stop People Pleasing, Reclaim Boundaries, and Say Yes to the Life You Want Learning to say no has been one of the best things I have done for myself. Not only has it challenged me to overcome my fear of rejection, it has helped me feel in control.

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If you have also decided that it’s worth it to you, and want to learn to say no, try these simple yet effective tips for doing so with confidence. Helpful Tips for Saying No Later, I found myself feeling absolutely terrible about having said yes and I wished that I had just had the guts to say no from the beginning. The mantra that you should say yes to everything is nothing new (much like the cliche about asking for forgiveness, not permission, although that doesn’t sound so good in the post-Weinstein era). “If someone offers you an amazing opportunity and you are not sure you can do it, say yes. Then learn how to do it later,” Richard Branson once said.

Are you still playing a role you learned in childhood to please others, such as the Good Girl/Boy, the Overachiever, or the Helper? Though these kinds of roles may have gained us attention and affection, they prohibited us from becoming our true selves. The Joy Of Saying No" will be an excellent book for those people who tend to please others a lot, each with their different reasons. Although I'm not the target audience, I chose to read this book because I was curious about what people pleasers who have a hard time saying no think.In het tweede deel gaat Natalie Lue dieper in op het aspect van de verschillende soorten pleasers. Ze deelt deze op in vijf verschillende soorten; het 'goede' doen, je best doen, vermijden, redden, lijden. Deze vijf verschillende types diept ze, hierbij gaat ze ook op zoek naar de achterliggende reden van dit gedrag. Ook de verschillende praktijkvoorbeelden, zorgen ervoor dat je een goed en volledig beeld krijgt van de verschillende soorten pleasers die er zijn. Vooral dit was voor mij erg leerzaam. Ik weet nu overduidelijk welk type ik ben en waar het gedrag vandaan komt. I have learned that if you live your life depending on other people’s approval, you will never feel free and truly happy. I remember this one time that I said yes to something and then later felt so bad about it that I ended up lying my way out of it. I still feel bad that I lied. If, like me, you’re having trouble saying no, this may help. Saying No Doesn’t Mean You’re a Bad Person Her patients tell her, she says, that “they cannot continue living at the pace they’re living at”, but at the same time, they cannot stop – they cannot say no. When she hears these words, Andrew begins thinking about “the core beliefs underneath people’s inability to say no”. When patients describe struggling to refuse to take on extra responsibilities at work, she says there is often an underlying fear that others will think they are not trying hard enough, an underlying fear that they are not good enough. That compulsive “yes” also forms part of a precarious solution to their self-doubt, she says, as, unconsciously: “They use this constant striving to make themselves feel better, to get that buzz from achieving things.”

Go on, try saying you’re too busy for a change. Never mind ‘yes, I can’ – sometimes, the very best answer is ‘no, I damn well can’t!’ Please be aware that the delivery time frame may vary according to the area of delivery - the approximate delivery time is usually between 1-2 business days. There's a lot of wisdom in Natalie's writing, but what was a struggle for me at first was getting through the writing style. I felt earlier on that some of the points could be made with fewer comma'd lists. In the end, this book has taken me nearly 7 months to finish. No is not a dirty word. Follow author Natalie Lue's six-step plan to find your no so you can create healthier boundaries and reconnect with your values and authentic self. Gezonde grenzen stellen is iets wat ik erg moeilijk vind. Daarom lijkt dit boek me uitermate geschikt voor mij om bewuster te worden van mijn gedrag, de achtergrond daarvan én hoe ik dit gedrag kan veranderen. Ik ben enorm benieuwd of dit boek me hierbij kan en gaat helpen. Deze hele simpele en heldere cover spreekt me erg aan en vind ik perfect afgestemd op het onderwerp van het boek.Dale Henderson recommends finding the line between being completely passive, and being aggressive and territorial – the former could lead to you being the office doormat, and the latter to you being perceived as unhelpful. There’s a trap many people discover when they transition to retirement: saying yes to0 soon or too often. The problem? Your hard-earned freedom can be squeezed by commitments to other people’s needs, not your true priorities. Natalie Lue discusses her new book The Joy of Saying No and the specific challenges faced by people pleasers. She’s found that there are five distinct types, and each one comes with it’s own challenges. What boundaries might be wise to set in 2023? Listen in to my conversation with Natalie Lue for sound advice. Delivery with Standard Australia Post usually happens within 2-10 business days from time of dispatch. Please be aware that the delivery time frame may vary according to the area of delivery and due to various reasons, the delivery may take longer than the original estimated timeframe. Wise Quotes On Why We Say Yes – When We Really Want to Say No“I think a lot of the time we say yes because we are on some level afraid of what will happen if we say no. And that might be a very conscious thought in that moment, but often it’s more of a feeling that we have that we just almost automatically respond to it by saying yes.We like to make people feel good, and that means different things to different people. But in that moment, even though we might already know, I really, really don’t want to do that, we make that person feel good by letting them believe that that’s what we want to do. We like that. We like being thought of as nice and helpful and as unselfish and good. And these prompt us to say one thing on the outside and have a totally different thing going on internally. I think it is a habit.” On Boundaries“I wrote this book because I genuinely had discovered the healing and transformative power of saying no and having boundaries. And I make a point of saying that because I think that people see boundaries as saying no and telling people what to do. And a big thing that I learned about having boundaries was boundaries are about being more of who you really are. Because then we’re operating from a place of integrity, authenticity, and honesty.” On Your People Pleaser Entourage“What people discover when they start saying no is that they possibly have a people pleaser entourage, certain people in their life who benefit from them not saying no. Celebrities sometimes have that group of hanger-ons. And even though they’re blowing all their money none of these hanger-ons point that out because they don’t want to stop the gravy train. So a lot of people pleasers discover there are certain people who are really reliant on you just going along with things and that can feel very uncomfortable initially. What they also discover though is that a lot of the things that they were nervous about saying no to aren’t really that big of a deal.” No is not a dirty word. Follow author Natalie Lue’s six-step plan to find your no so you can create healthier boundaries and reconnect with your values and authentic self.

If you provide a ‘because’, you have more chance of the person accepting. Even if it’s an utterly random reason, people are less likely to argue with it. But if you give a list of reasons, it undermines you. AND…REPEAT I am also learning not to talk myself into more work. Just because I can do something doesn’t mean I should. It is great to be helpful, but there is a value in sitting on your hands and biting your lip.It seems it is more complicated to experience “#Jono” than Harding suggests in her book, which is full of sentences such as: “Ditch the guilt.” Reader, at this my laughter was bitter and hollow.