The author, Yung Pueblo, discovered his path to healing after reaching the edge of death due to drug addiction and a life of pleasure-seeking. In his work, he talks about the healing journey and the power of actively working on your own growth so you can enjoy success and deeper relationships every day of your life. In this Blink, we’ll share some of his stories and advice. All of this takes time. Building healthy habits is a long game, but you have to make a start. You can begin by being intentional with every action you take and choosing to do what’s best for you and your goals instead of just what feels good. The more you do this, the more self-love will become a habit. And you aren’t the only person making these improvements. Self-healing is being sought on a worldwide scale. As we each strive to grow into better versions of ourselves, we’re elevating humanity and paving the way for a better future.

Your immediate reaction does not tell you who you are. It is how you decide to respond after the reaction that gives you real insight into how much you have grown. Your first reaction is your past. Your intentional response is your present.” It is about reaching the point where we recognise what has caused us to react in the above negative ways, but no longer allowing it to command or govern us - instead using the information from the past to aid us in making better decisions moving forward. You can’t have a do-over for a bad decision you made. You can’t have a father who didn’t walk out on you. You can’t have the marriage you wanted that ended up failing. You can’t have . . . well, you can fill in the blank here. Progress is slow and you’ll continue to encounter challenges. Sometimes it’ll be the same challenge and you’ll wonder why you’re still fighting the same battle. Just wrapped up reading Lighter by Yung Pueblo (a pen name for Diego Perez). What I love about Yung Pueblo having bought and devoured his first two collections of poetry and prose on the same themes--he's got this way of using easy-to-grasp language to discuss deep ideas and concepts. He likens our desires and aversions to stones damming up a river, trapping us in a loop of stress, controlling tendencies, and constant pleasure hunting. His writing and metaphors are poetic but without using language that can be verbose or alienating (something I probably could learn from).What Yung Pueblo is getting at here, I believe, is finding someone who truly aligns with your values, who is committed to your growth and self-improvement, and who just feels right in your arms – that is truly a unique and special connection. Six: you’re able to disagree with others constructively, turning it into a learning experience or conversation rather than a fight or argument. You may or may not have had a traumatic past. Whether your upbringing was peaceful or turbulent, it still affected you. The fact is, it’s during your youth – though you weren’t conscious enough to realize it – that your surroundings taught your brain how to react. Three: You don’t feel the need to avoid uncomfortable feelings. Instead of numbing the pain or running from it, you’re able to ride the waves of your emotions while staying the course of your goals. Being honest with yourself isn’t always easy. It means being able to face those moments that you’re embarrassed about or ashamed of and take responsibility for them. It means being able to admit when you’re wrong.

But you want it. And that’s the issue. Whatever it is you want that you can’t have, that’s what you have to let go of. And this letting go is what moves you out of reaction and into peace. Four: you’re able to make choices that benefit your long-term goals rather than acting on what feels good in the moment. Your partner can’t fix your emotional problems and you can’t fix theirs. Support means offering comfort, a listening ear, or simply space during hard times. Support also means both of you are behaving this way. One-sided relationships aren’t healthy for either party.Once you’ve calmed down and come to grips with your reaction, you go to your coworker, apologize unconditionally, and declare your intention to behave better in the future. But there’s more. Because now you get to go home to your own child. He’s sitting at the dinner table being told he can’t have dessert until he finishes his veggies. And he’s crying. To be supportive of each other, you need to understand that no one can make you happy. Expecting your partner to be the source of your happiness will doom your relationship to extreme stress and likely failure.