After my divorce, I asked myself what I needed. I went to the bench a lot. I ate out at diners. I leased a roadster convertible and revved the shit out of it through the canyons blasting obnoxious music and wearing no shirt. And didn’t care. I took myself to the movies. Went on long walks. Pour myself into my passions. Started writing again. I needed to treat myself well. Better. I needed to do things for myself and not feel guilty about them. I also pushed my body harder than I ever have before. I needed to feel alive. I needed to like who I was. That is why the growth soil is so rich during the times between relationships. You have a limited amount of time to work on yourself and your life before you meet someone else. It doesn’t mean you can’t grow when you’re in a relationship. (This book is about that too—more on that later.) But let’s face it. When you’re in a relationship, you’re building something with someone else. You’re a part of something else. So it’s imperative to take advantage of the time you’re unattached. Instead of searching for someone to be with, you must explore you. Your patterns. Your definitions. How you love and why. Your dreams. The dent you want to make in this world. You must explore your relationship with self. You must be with yourself first. No, I’m good. I lost my virginity when I was fourteen. I don’t really remember it, though. ( A few patrons glance over. John’s used to this. He does sessions here all the time. His client doesn’t notice or mind.)

Kim has gone on to help thousands of clients find their own unique way to break free of expectations and finally live their truth. With Single on Purpose, Kim takes his signature no-BS “self-help in a shot glass” approach as he shares his own singlehood story and shows readers how to own their shit, break their patterns, and find a grounded sense of self. Okay, let’s put a bookmark there. Tell me about some of your other previous relationships. Would you like a coffee? This book is also for anyone who is currently in a relationship but the dynamic has changed. You’ve drifted. Grown apart. The in love has turned to in lost, and neither of you know yourself anymore. There’s lots of finger-pointing, sex is scheduled or doesn’t happen at all, and you’ve both lost touch with the individuals you were when you came together. You might have complaints about your partner but are coming to realize that it’s not really about them. It’s not about changing anyone or fixing the relationship. You have no more energy for that. It’s about starting with you.

Single on Purpose is created by The Angry Therapist, John Kim, who will also be in the rotation of experts. We are starting the podcast with 20 experts across the wellness space. These were the thoughts sprinting through my mind as panic set in. But I had to tell myself I was choosing it. It was a decision that I don’t usually make, and I had to believe I would come out the other side better because of it. That’s what breaking a pattern looks like. Not just for me, but for all the clients I would go on to help. That was the fuel for me, the 92 octane. So I did it. And I am not going to lie. It was hard. Like, addiction recovery hard. But I took it a day at a time, like they say in the meetings. And slowly but surely, it got easier. Not only did it get easier, I became different. Things started shifting on the inside. I started to grow. I’ve had hundreds of sessions just like this. Different stories, but all the same. It’s why I wrote this book. We don’t know how to be single. It’s a journey most do not embark on.

No-bullsh*t ways to confront your past—what you've settled for before and what you're changing today Sped through this one and thoroughly enjoyed listening on Audible. Also believe this is applicable for those already in relationships, like I am, or in any walk in life. Since I’m already a follower of John’s podcasts, it was comforting to hear him read through this self help book and enlightening to hear more nuggets of his personal journey & life lessons that he wove into this book. Very humanizing and enjoyed his vulnerability and openness. Few takeaways: Technically my ex as of yesterday. I realized on a retreat at Joshua Tree. Yes, I was on mushrooms, but I had this revelation. I was only with him because it made sense. I’ve never really been attracted to him, and it’s not fair to him.My Review - This book came in right when It was needed most in my life. Not because of any relationship issues but because I felt a loss of connection with myself. Let me tell you at the utmost that this book is not about singlehood or specifically for people not in a relationship with another human. This book is about bonding with oneself. No matter the reader is single or in a relationship or anything. The book talks about how important it is for oneself to have a real connection with themselves before having anything with someone else. No matter the status of the relationship, one must know, understand and prioritize their own relationship with their inner self than any other. That's how one can rejoice in every other bond. And that's what made me attracted to this book. I too agree with the thing about our relationship with self-being the most prioritised relation than any other in our life. A few chapters did feel bonkers and the reader is the one to either adapt or trash them. The quotes, the life experiences of the author and his patients is what gave this book a real-life catalogue of stories that can be related here and their by us. This thing made the book much more unique and relatable by me and probably to you too if you choose to read so. May it be a hard break up or lonely singlehood or happily ever after a relationship or joyfully singlehood, I recommend this book to all those feeling a bit lost and trying to find themselves in the hush and bush of everything. For John, it took donuts, barbells, and a motorcycle. For the thousands of clients he’s helped as the Angry Therapist, it was yoga, or salsa dancing, or finally speaking their truth. In Single. On Purpose., John takes his signature “self-help in a shot glass” approach and shows readers how to own their shit, break their patterns, and find a grounded sense of self. First, we must get rid of one of the greatest misconceptions about life, the idea that you can’t be happy unless you are with someone. I’ve coached thousands of singles over the years, and every single one of them believed when they came to me that they couldn’t be happy unless they found a partner. Unless they were married. Unless they had someone to come home to. Their singlehood meant they were incomplete or defective. Less than. They believed there was something wrong with them. Kim has gone on to help thousands of clients find their own unique way to break free of expectations and finally live their truth. With Single on Purpose, Kim takes his signature no-BS “self-help in a shot glass” approach as he shares his own singlehood story and shows readers how to own their shit, break their patterns, and find a grounded sense of self.

So your current relationship is over. It was healthy, but you were not sexually attracted to him. And the person you are sexually attracted to is toxic and bad for you. And you know this. After a painful divorce, “The Angry Therapist” John Kim realized he had never truly been on his own. He went on a journey to rebuild his relationship with himself, going from alone and disconnected to alone and fulfilled. In this episode, Dr. Bradley Bond shares his research and expert knowledge on parasocial relationships and the psychology of media with the SOP audience. Specifically he explores with Dr. Nina Polyné our perceptions of TV characters, and how this might relate to our social networks while being single. He also expands on how TV narratives can be helpful for marginalized communities (e.g., LGBTQ, elderly). Additionally, they explore why we get so wrapped up in celebrity lives, and at times, we tend to feel similar emotions of those we follow on social media when big life shifts occur (makeups and breakups). Finally, Dr. Brad offers his wisdom on how to live your best life while single, and if the shows we watch on TV influence the attractions we may have on potential dates. Along with his role as a professor, speaker and business consultant, he is also incredibly creative! He shares in the episode what led him to pursue a life of purpose-driven work, and he and Dr. Nina reflect on their 20 year + friendship. Amy and Sean share a toolkit full of advice on dating after divorce, including mindfulness, self-awareness, and self-compassion, and they remind divorcees of what not to do, too. I like John Kim and this book for it's honesty. It makes you reflect on your actions, thoughts and desires. It helps you identify what fuels them and most importantly, how to rewrite them.We have been programmed to believe that we have to find our “one” to be happy. That our lives are not complete unless we have a partner. With this mindset, we walk through life feeling incomplete or less than because we don’t have our person.