Declarative Language Handbook: Using a Thoughtful Language Style to Help Kids with Social Learning Challenges Feel Competent, Connected, and Understood

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This type of language also opens up the chance for them to problem solve on their own instead of you telling your child to specifically do something (e.g., "Put your shoes on!"). Yeah, well, any group of learners that are neurodivergent, I would say, like if we could use that, I’ve heard that it’s, although this wasn’t my intention, I’ve heard a lot from the PDA community that it’s very supportive and effective there. I think it’s really supportive with individuals who have diagnoses of ADHD, autism, twice exceptional nonverbal learning disability, oh, and executive function difficulties, like I think it also can come into play there. And now also neurotypical learners also respond really well to this style of communicating. And I think the thing about it is, one of the most important things is it puts it on us, the teacher, the caregiver, the therapist, to just own our own communication, and really think about how to share information with this learner in a way that they can receive it. So that’s why it can really be powerful for all learners, because we’re adjusting our communication to present it in a way that’s inviting, that’s positive, that’s guiding, that’s supportive. And that provides them the information that they really need in that moment. Like that. It’s good for everybody. But I also have heard that too, a lot of I’ve heard it’s just been really helpful as a general parenting book, even for parents and caregivers who are not in the same world that supporting them with the things that they’re interested in rather than trying to impose on them what you feel they should be doing Declarative Language Handbook: Using a Thoughtful Language Style to Help Kids with Social Learning Challenges Feel Competent, Connected and Understood by Linda K. Murphy Just like giant pandas, our children can thrive in the right environment – in place of firm boundaries and the use of rewards, consequences and praise, an approach based on negotiation, collaboration and flexibility tends to work better in PDA households. Top tips include:

The strategy centers around taking imperative sentences and turning them into declarative ones instead.** This book was written to teach you how making small shifts in your language and speaking style will produce important results. You will stop telling kids what to do and instead thoughtfully give them information to help them make important discoveries in the moment. These moments build resilience, flexibility, and positive relationships over time. What we can hope to see in a child or an adolescent who has been on the receiving end of declarative language Declarative language is a comment or a statement, usually about something someone knows, observes, or thinks. Yeah, that’s great. Would you share with listeners where they can connect with you? You mentioned your blog, I’m gonna have a link to the one exchange at a time post that you mentioned, but anywhere that listeners can connect with you and engage.

our students become more aware of their own learning style, strengths and vulnerabilities and as a result, are better able to self-advocate Similarly, these approaches can be helpful with other presentations/conditions as well as with a PDA profile of autism – they may be beneficial for autistic and non-autistic people at times of heightened emotional states or extreme anxiety, or for times of extreme demand avoidance regardless of the underlying cause. Validates a child's feelings and experiences (e.g., "I can see that you're frustrated that your sister is using the red crayon. I wonder if we could ask to borrow it when she's done with it." instead of "You're okay, it's just a crayon.") Training 1: Declarative Language: Using a Thoughtful Language Style to Help Individuals with Social Learning Differences Feel Competent, Connected and Understood Autism and the PDA profile are dimensional– this means that approaches need to be tailored for each individual child, applied flexibly and reviewed regularly. There is no wrong or right way to do things, it’s about learning as much as you can about PDA, finding out what works best for you and your child and building a framework of approaches.

Recognising and regulating emotions is something most of our children find very difficult. Whilst our children are young, the adults around them will need to be very vigilant in spotting the signs that anxiety is escalating. As our children grow older and their emotional intelligence develops, they may be able to recognise their emotions and deploy their own coping skills more effectively. Books can be a good way to learn about emotions, and enable our children to develop understanding and skills, in a more indirect way. There are some general book ideas that may be helpful with this in the resources section.

Adjusting your mindset

I recommend that parents trying the advice in this book tread very carefully. While imperative language may invite conflict, declarative language can just as easily invite frustration. If your goal is to prompt observation of the child's surroundings without expecting a specific outcome, you'll be fine. If you expect your child to guess that they need to stand in line or clean up their room based on vague comments, you might be sorely disappointed.

As a seasoned clinician, I found that when I changed my language from imperative to declarative, I started to notice new competencies of children. I am continually amazed at how simple (but difficult!) changes in my language can be so powerful and bring about incredible changes in a short time. We are so fortunate to have Linda explain the principles of Declarative Language in a book." Carrying an object with a favoured scent (eg. candle, soap, pillow or spraying a sleeve or handkerchief) for those who become distressed by unfamiliar or unpleasant smells

Being cautious with rewards/praise/sanctions

It's flexible since there's often more than one way to respond to a statement or sometimes no response is required (e.g., "I see a rainbow over there." instead of "What do you see in the sky?") Meet your learner where they are in each moment, and don’t be afraid to give it a try, no matter where they are at in their language development. You might be a therapist or a teacher, or you might be a parent, grandparent, or babysitter. Your child might have a diagnosis such as autism, Asperger's Syndrome, PDA, ADHD or Non-Verbal Learning Disability. But they might not. No matter your child's learning style, this book was written to help you feel equipped to make a difference, simply by being mindful of your own communication and speaking style. TV/books/gaming can be a good way to learn about emotions, relationships and social dynamics, and enable our children to develop understanding and skills, in a more indirect way.

I am a big fan of any parenting advice that seeks to reduce conflict and build/restore trust between parents and their children. Ross Green's work ( Explosive Child, Raising Human Beings, etc.) has been a big hit in our household. Murphy's book works with some similar themes, but with the explicit goal of teaching social observation skills to neurodivergent kids. As I've dived into learning everything I can about gestalt language processingover the years, I noticed that declarative language kept coming up as well. It's perfect for modeling scripts or gestalts and helping with those pronoun reversals. So it just further reinforced how beneficial it is to use this type of language with hyperlexic kids. They are gestalt processors after all.Hold onto the paper while you cut." ➡ "Sometimes it helps to hold the paper with your other hand to keep it steady. It might make it easier to cut."