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The author, Dr. Siegel, is a Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the School of Medicine at UCLA and the founding co-director of the UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center. So you can feel confident that the information he and his co-author, Dr. Tina Payne Bryson (who is also a psychotherapist) share is evidence-based. If a kindergarten-aged child doesn't want to go to school and expresses their emotions with yelling and crying, the gentle parenting response would not be to dismiss their reaction. Instead, you would comment on your child's reaction and validate them. The goal would be to communicate understanding in an effort to help your child regulate their emotions, calm down, and get ready for school. Like most parenting techniques, the gentle parenting style of raising kids is often misunderstood. Some critics think it’s tantamount to parenting without discipline. Gentle parenting makes space for parents to honor their own feelings and needs alongside their child’s. I'm not sure if you have teenagers? Because I can assure you that at some point it is likely you will bribe good behaviour out of them. Trust me on that! It doesn't mean you don't respect them but actually, teenagers need discipline or - and pardon my French - it will all go to shit.
Plus, a good portion of this work is internal, requiring moms and dads to be mindful and reflective about their own beliefs and behaviors. Instead of bossing kids around, parents gently lend a helping hand when needed and share their wisdom and experience with their children. The gentle parenting style relies on your child’s compliance. It assumes that if you make reasonable requests, your child will agree to them. Try it out. Instead of giving a command like “Go clean your room,” try giving a suggestion instead. This might sound like “Why don’t we tidy up a bit so things are nice and clean?” If you’re used to the authoritarian style of parenting, you might be pleasantly surprised at what your child can accomplish with just a gentle nudge. Focus on the Positivei'm no longer parenting; my daughter is grown - so this info is beyond my life right now. reading this article and the comments has been helpful in at least beginning to identify what bothers me. yep, the spaces of pro-gentle parenting very much give cultish, condescending, judgmental, et al
The goals of gentle parenting are to raise children who understand and can regulate their emotions, respect and have empathy for themselves and others, and have healthy and collaborative relationships," says Peters. Where did gentle parenting come from?
Raising Good Humans: A Mindful Guide to Breaking the Cycle of Reactive Parenting and Raising Kind, Confident Kids by Hunter Clarke-Fields
In this case, you could end up parenting yourself along with your child as you grow in mindfulness together! This will be a case of double duty for you, but it will yield long-term benefits for your family. You Might Get Criticized
The Whole-Brain Child is a gentle parenting book many will read and wonder why they hadn’t read it sooner. Knowing how a child’s brain works will enable adults to use a gentle approach so little kids can navigate difficult situations. Gentle parenting is supposed to be a strategy that you can use throughout your time as a parent. Starting when your children are young is the easiest way to set boundaries and establish the expectation of natural consequences. With gentle parenting, relationships are built through empathy, respect, and understanding. Children are treated as team members in their own growth and development.Gentle parenting is a long-term solution, though. It doesn’t promise that your toddler will stop throwing tantrums overnight or that your tween will start keeping a tidier room ASAP. Instead, it provides hope that over time, your family dynamics will improve and your child will be healthier and happier. Gentle parenting works… in the long run
She is the type of girl that teachers refer to as 'spirited'. She is a bundle of stubbornness and strong will. She is fiercely independent, clever, funny and wonderful. There is an old saying that manners don't cost anything, asking your children to say please and thank you is not a bad thing! They are cleverer than you think, and although in your view they might be saying please or thank you because they are internally motivated to do so it's actually far more likely that they are giving platitudes because it's the right thing to do. Try and think about a time where you've been in a shop and the lady on the till is in a foul mood but you say thank you anyway because that's the decent thing and we should all teach our children that. I would be mortified if I were in a situation where my child didn't say thank you because they felt that it wasn't warranted, and if that ever happened I would gently remind them that manners are what helps keep situations harmonious. Second, gentle parenting is effective because it teaches children how to regulate their own emotions. When children learn how to effectively manage their feelings, they are less likely to act out or lash out in anger. Gentle parenting helps kids learn how to express themselves in healthy ways, which can lead to them being more successful in school and in their future relationships.
Real-world examples of gentle parenting will look different at different phases of your child's development. Peters gives some examples:
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