My Grief Is Like the Ocean: A Story for Children Who Lost a Parent to Suicide

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Melinda Smith, M.A., Lawrence Robinson, and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D. write so well and clearly in their post, Coping with Grief and Loss. The first time I read this particular post was months before my husband passed away. Someone had shared it on FaceBook after the death of an acquaintance. I remember thinking how beautiful it was, how authentic it felt. But even though I was moved by it in light of the death of someone I knew and once worked together, I never realised how deeply I would come to related to it just less than a year later. Letting go and experiencing all that life offers out and ahead of us is a safe place to land when grief is like an ocean, and its waves of grief overwhelm us. Grief is never something you get over. You don’t wake up one morning and say, “I’ve conquered that: now I’m moving on” It’s something that walks beside you every day. And if you can learn how to manage it and honor the person that you miss, you can take something that is incredibly sad and have some form of positivity. --- Terri Erwin Learn to accept and get through your grief. Don’t ignore or downplay its power to make you a better, more well-rounded person.

Begin to open your mind to all the new possibilities that may now open up for you, as hard as that may seem. Here is the link and the infor for the post if you don't want to find the comment: see below. Take CareGrief is like getting up every day to a job you hate and which you feel completely unskilled for. ~ Louise Leaning on your faith during your darkest hours helps you have something to hold on to. Grief can be challenging and drain you of everything you once believed to be true. A loss of faith often accompanies a life-changing event. You wouldn’t be the first person to question their beliefs, their faith, and their religion. When someone you love dies, and you’re not expecting it, you don’t lose her all at once; you lose her in pieces over a long time — the way the mail stops coming, and her scent fades from the pillows and even from the clothes in her closet and drawers. Gradually, you accumulate the parts of her that are gone. Just when the day comes — when there’s a particular missing part that overwhelms you with the feeling that she’s gone, forever — there comes another day, and another specifically missing part.”

Believe me, every heart has its secret sorrows, which the world knows not, and oftentimes we call a man cold, when he is only sad.” But even within all the mixed emotions, this piece of writing has, in some strange way, also brought me comfort and hope. If someone survived this maddening and cruel ocean of grief, maybe so could I. Maybe I wouldn’t drown. Maybe one day I could learn how to swim in it, given that I had only the choices of doing or or to allow myself to sink.

How may we feel and express anger?

The good news is that after surviving substantial loss and the waves of grief in our lives, we can be more grateful for the simple things, like the fresh smell of a cup of coffee in the morning and the bright sunshine of a new day. A beautiful story of grief, scars that deep love leaves behind, the crashing waves of sadness that overwhelm you sometimes. I discovered that I didn’t know much about compassion. And I was very disappointed to find that I really wasn’t very good at it. Moving on, as a concept, is for stupid people. Because any sensible person knows grief is a long-term project. I refuse to rush. Let no man slow, speed, or fix. --- Max Porter